Parents on the Move!

High in the Skies

2012-01-27T05:47:00.002-05:00

My husband and I like to connect with family over the Thanksgiving/Christmas/New Year season; and like many multinational families, that requires getting on an airplane. I actually like flying. For some reason, I find fellow travellors friendly, security people often funny; and when on the plane it is rest all the way. Someone else cooks dinner, serves the meals, cleans up and all I have to do is catch up on two or three films or read from my stack on kindle. What's not to like?

But last week's flight back up from Italy to the UK was the stuff of which nighmares and crazy films are made.As the plane slammed from side to side, and twisted over what was more of a view of the alps than I paid for, I was not peacefully watching a film (one of those no-frills flights which I also enjoy as I still have my kindle and time with my husband.) At one point, when the plane slammed us in one direction, as we then were tossed back to the other side, I caught hold of the top of the seat in front to steady me, and I lifted the other hand up and aloud prayed the Name of Jesus.
"Jesus! The Name of Jesus! Jesus!" I cried.
"Kathleen!" my husband reprimanded me by his tone, "You are scaring the other passenger!" He did his English whisper.
I opened my eyes, "Ooops....so I am.Sorry." I slunk down into the chair and stopped-but so had the turbulance!

I recall another night, coming into JFK, New York out of Heathrow, London.We had flown most of the night but it was still dark outside. Infact, the second in command to the pilot announced that the weather was so bad (he used more sophisticated terminology for weather conditions) that we would have to stack for awhile. In a little while, the pilot came on the PA system and said that we would be stacking for another half an hour, but unlike the other planes due to land we would actually be landing in good time. The other planes now stacking with us would be heading off to alternative airports.
"If you have ever doubted the capability of women pilots, do let tonight change your mind. Being a woman driver,"said our pilot," I flew out with more than enough gas! The male pilots in the planes you now can see turning away, only took the minimum. This momma knows how to get her kids home!"

And though we swept from side to side as we went down the run way, to an uproar of applause, we landed safely.

Giving thanks for all the pilots who got us where we needed to go over Christmas.And giving thanks for all the uneventful flights ever flown.Pilots - male and female- you serve us well. Thank you.

And now, I just have to link you to a photo I love of the Singapore airport. It was taken by a young mom doing a family trip over the holidays. She has a great blog (we have major disagreemens over some things, but I love Crystal's day to day writing)that I came across on twitter from Crossing Cultures. She has kindly given me permission to link to the photos- do take a look! http://expatbostonians.com/2012/01/02/angry-birds-at-changi-airport/
If for any reason you cannot see the link- please google: angry-birds-at-changi-airport

Yorkshire

2011-12-30T04:49:00.000-05:00

Each county in the UK is very much like each state in the USA; for example, the food and the language and even the outlook on life varies. We're up in South Yorkshire (SO different from North Yorkshire) and my husband- aka Grandad- is out back helping his grandson sort out/repair the go kart they made on our last visit (or two, this seems to be an on going project). GS (Grandson) is a delight to listen to, with his Yorkshire accent ( love to hear him say "huney" as in "Winnie the Pooh honey".

This morning at breakfast we have been talking about GS's first visit to America this coming April. It reminded me of the years of preparing children to relocate from the UK to the USA and vice versa when I was director of Childtrack International. It's just as much fun now as it was then, and I am thinking of ways to help this delightful eight year old enjoy his brief visit. Global granparenting means introducing fun in various languages ( Russina, Italian, American English-mostly southern, British English-north and south versions in our family) and brings the introduction of "other ways of doing things" quite early on in life. GS's half English/half Italian cousin is growing up bi-lingual, but even bi-dialectual children have their challenges.

While I am thinking about sticking up British and American coins on the fridge, and introducing the biscuits vs cookies choices, Grandad is thinking up places to take GS and parents (his daugher and her husband) who have also never travelled to America. The family is clear they want to see normal family life on the Gulf of Mexico, so dropping them off at Disney (my student job was the Orlando Disney World) isn't going to work.

GD believes he will start with a bicycle for GS, while leaving the parents to relax on the lanai (Florida word for screened in back porch)- and that means starting with finding a bicycle that fits GS and a helmet to match. One lap around the neighbourhood lake and then off they go to the Inland Waterway of Sarasota county!

Still, that's months away and just outside on a cold Yorkshire December morning, "the lads" are working on the go-kart.

And now for the UK!

2011-12-22T09:47:00.000-05:00

It is hard to believe that it is a month since I last updated my blog, "Parents on the Move!" The reason for this break is that my husband I have been on the move with a re-entry for four months to the UK. You may recall that we live part of the year in the United States and part of the year in the United Kingdom, though how much of the year is spent in each country varies. We also visit my husband's daughter, son in law and grandchild in Italy each year. Whereever we are, it does feel like home.

It was a challenge to leave Florida this year; leaving family and friends, our church, and great weather. We both enjoy the American way of life, but as soon as we landed on UK soil; we wondered how we will be able to leave it at the end of our time here. I was so pleased to be met at the airport by my daughter and have already had one lovely day with her in her new home in London.

As Christmas approaches, we genuinely look forward to having adult children and grandchildren visit; and we look forward to visiting them in their homes. We have six children between us, all truely a joy. We aren't pretending to be a blended family but we are also real about valuing each member of this greatly extended family and so grateful for time together.

It is my prayer that you and your family have a blessed time together (even if it is just a skype moment!), whever in the world you are for the holiday!

News: Parents on the Move! will soon be available on kindle!

On the move-again!

2011-11-16T12:27:00.002-05:00

In my book, Parents on the Move," I write about "good closure;" that is, taking time to say goodbye and preparing to move to your next location. As I live this global family life, I am taking my own advice. In the next weeks I will not be writing my usual weekly blog for Parents on the Move, but spending time with family and friends as we pack up to move back to the UK.

My husband and I look forward to having time with family over Thanksgiving on the USA side of the pond, and then reuniting with family over Christmas on the UK side of the pond. At the moment I am revelling in Thanksgiving colours and recipes, and enjoying speaking on skype with my daughter as she plans a Thanksgiving meal with friends at her church. She informed me today that there is a food store in London selling Thanksgiving food items and promising to donate the proceeds to the American Church in London. ACL has a wonderful soup kitchen that has been going for years, so what a great fundraising idea!

So with a focus firmly on givng thanks, I re-read what I wrote in Parents on the Move! (Destiny Image publishers) and will get busy preparing to once again be "on the move!" May blessings abound for you and your global family. See you again when the plane lands in London!

Families in Global Transition Conference

2011-11-09T12:16:00.000-05:00

Announcing the 2012 Families in Global Tranistion Conference in Washington,DC. Early Bird registration is now open, and you are invited to attend March 29-31.

Who is this conference for? It's for corporate, military, missionary, NGO (non-governmental)and diplomatic families.

Purpose? To meet others, like yourselves, with families living all over the world. This is for Human Resource professionals, trainers in cross cultural understanding, as well as simply for those of us living this life of international relocation (and re-entry). Actually, FIGT (Families in Global Tranistion) is very much like a family reunion! Getting together with people who speak your language, and understanding your concerns and joys of global living.

This is the friendliest conference you will ever attend; and though there is a strong basis of assisting research in the field of cross cultural family living, it is just as much about having a meal with someone who understands how hard it is to settle into a new country as it is to attend workshops that can up your skill level for global living. It's worth the flight! Check out Families in Global Transition conference details!

New Migration

2011-10-19T13:08:00.004-04:00

This morning I came across a "birdie"- that's the term I hear around here for "birdwatcher;" rather like "foodie" is for someone with epicurian intentions. When we are in Florida we live in what is called a Bird Sanctuary, and so I suppose it is to be expected that we might run across one or two people with bird labelled t-shirts and binoculars hanging around their neck. As my husband and I had seen a quite unusual bird skimming over our neighbourhood while we had breakfast on the lanai (Florida word for back porch with mosquito screen), I stopped this "birdie" and asked what was going on.
"Quite a few bird watchers out this morning. Something happening in the bird world?" I asked as he was actually the third birdie I had come across in my morning walk.
"Well, there seems to be a new migration pattern happening."
"What kind of birds?"
And he listed a plethora of names that had words like "tennessee" and "long-tailed," and then he lost me.
"It is unusual," he said, "we've had some migration fall out."
I listened to him and hoped it wasn't as serious as the nuclear kind, but he did look excited and not too concerned.
It seems it is that time of year again, when the birds move from one part of the world to the other; and not all birds move from the north to the sunnier south. Some fly north to find the food they need. Some terns fly from one artic to another, some soar above Everest for an incredible view. Still, bird watchers say there is something new happening with the normal migration patterns. A little like those of us who are regularly on the move.

These days more and more of us are just having to go where the jobs are. Are we excited? Curious? Not following the flock? Please take a moment to read the Releasing Prayer that you will find at the end of my book, "Parents on the Move!" published by Destiny Image Europe and available from Amazon (see side bar). Be released into the flight pattern the Father has just for you!

As the "snow birds" (northerners who come to Florida for the winter) start to arrive, our neighbourhood church always puts up sign. This year it says, "We welcome snowbirds of pray!" It's almost time for my husband and I to pack up and leave our house with our favourite snowbird renters; and for us to head back to the UK. If you are getting ready to make a move, we pray safe flights to all!

Please note: the actual migration patterns ARE NOT changing, but the weather patterns are affecting the flow of migration and quite a number of birds are making an unusual pitstop! Large numbers of reb breasted warblers in our area this morning- VERY rare indeed!

It's a Ministry!

2011-10-03T12:59:00.003-04:00

This past Sunday I was blessed to hear Pastor Joy announce that she and Pastor Jim are starting to hold Open House for the parents of any teenagers attending the Friday night "Firebrand!" (every youth group worth its salt seems to have a name other than "youth group" these days)

Though my "kids" are way past the youth group age, I remember clearly the nights when you drive the young ones to church, drop them off and then try to return on time. Parents can even argue over "whose turn it is to do the run," and it is only a slight step up from the diaper/nappy changing conversation had years earlier.

Some parents are smart about this time and use it as their own Date Night, but in these financially challenged times going out to dinner (just for themselves) doesn't always make the budget cut. Yet, parents of teenagers need very much to invest in their own marriage and have a little fun with other parents- even having a little relief time from their full-on parenting job. Once your kids are in High School you aren't exactly catching up and sharing the real stories with other parents at the "school-gate" anymore.

For Pastors Jim and Joy at Fisherman's Net Revival Center in Venice, Florida to recognise this and open their home to parents who have already spent the money on the gas/petrol to drive the kids to their evening out just blessed me. I know they will have a great time in our Pastors' home; getting to enjoy a laugh, share a prayer concern and inside scoop on what's going on and chomping on some great food. Makes me want to carry out my true ministry-baking some chocolate chip cookies! Let's bless parents, not just at the early stages;but when they have been at it awhile.

Toll House Chocolate Chip Cookies recipe:http://www.verybestbaking.com/recipes/144813/Original-NESTL%C3%89-TOLL-HOUSE-Dark-Chocolate-Chip-Cookies/detail.aspx

Beyond Broken Families

2011-09-27T07:23:00.000-04:00

This month I am pleased to announce that my new book, "Beyond Broken Families," is to be published by Destiny Image Europe. This book is about the journey to catch the vision God gave me for family life today. When a family falls apart through serious illness, or divorce we are often told to "move on." This book, while sharing my personal stories of recovery, looks at the challenge that God gave me to move into His creative plan for living beyond the brokeness.
May blessings abound as you read what the Lord has in store for recovering your family!
This week I am speaking at Sarasota Christian Bookstore, Living Word. It's "Girl's Night Out," and we look forward to gathering for a great time together, giving thanks for the Holy Spirit leading us on amazing life adventures!

Your Garden

2011-08-13T11:48:00.000-04:00

There is a wonderful conference each year at the American Church is Paris, called, "Bloom Where you are Planted." These days we never seem to be in Europe when it's held (in October), but I love the name of the conference and I would recommend it to anyone just moving to that wonderful city.

As I am married to an English gardener, that theme of just how we bloom in all our locations is a growing theme in my mind. Back in Surrey, England we have a Scottish neighbour who seems to be nurturing some heather out back. I am not sure the heather is that comfortable among the English flowers that the local English gardener is longing to see flourish; in what is supposed to be a communal garden. I look out the window from our high window and I do not this neighbouring multi-cultural garden flourishing, but a war of roses versus heather.

My own English Gardener is at the moment working in the heat of a Florida late morning (Florida gardens are to be attended to in the wee hours or late evening) and adding yet another plant. I am excited to see our Key Lime flourishing, and have enjoyed a few limes in refreshing afternoon drinks;but we continue to learn what truely blooms in this heat. We have a baby palm tree of the variety that WANTS to grow in this area, having replaced an exotic palm that never belonged on the Gulf of Mexico. The exotic drooped with every blight headed our way. The one meant to be here is the one that flourishes.

Not all of us are meant to be in the land of a birth passport, and some of us were born to have two or more passports...maybe we just need to check the soil and see if there are blooming possibilities.

USA Health Care

2011-06-30T12:30:00.000-04:00

Did you know that in America you cannot pruchase health insurance for the first time if you are over 64 and 1/2...don't forget the half! This should be a wake up call for all Americans living overseas long term, and planning to come home for retirement. Unless you only plan to travel back/or to the US for three to six months and can get coverage via Travel Insurance, you could be stuck indeed.

USA health care always begins with insurance. It's that time of year for my husband and I to change countries, from the UK to the USA; and so uppermost in our minds is health insurance. As I am under sixty five, we almost didn't purchase travel insurance for me, thinking I might just find an American health policy and get started making those payments. My husband, however, is over sixty five so there was no policy available for him to buy in America. This limited our travel to the six months for which we could find UK travel insurance coverage for him. My husband, being kind, didn't want to just buy insurance for himeself and not for me- and it was a good thing he did!

We arrived in Florida on Tuesday and on Wednesday I developed a dental emergency that seemed to require a root canal. We thankfully also have a church we attend when in this part of the world (Fisherman's Net Revival Center) and our pastors Jim and Joy McInness recommended a dentist Jim had used and liked. The dentist, Dr S.... was friendly, professional and able to help. Only we learned that a root canal and work afterwards would not give us much change from $3,000!

I had a good look at my tooth. "Are you worth $3,000?" I asked my tooth? "No," was my conclusion. If it were a lovely twenty year old tooth just two weeks before my wedding, I would opt for the root canal. But at this price, this tooth would have to go! So, for $289.00 I had it extracted. I definately want a new tooth....and apparently I can have it in any colour I want. Pink. Purple. White even.

English RE Curriculum comes Alive with Orizon!

2011-06-13T08:20:00.000-04:00

Pupils at the Weyburn School in Farnham, Surrey are in for a treat today! Orison is hosting a day of interactive, multi-sensory prayer spaces....and that means a time out of the classroom to meet some very important RE (Religeous Education) Curriculum targets, indeed.

My husband and I joined some of the youth workers in Farnham for a taster experience this past Sunday afternoon and we were impressed both by the quality of learning station experiences as well as the enthusiasm of the staff that hosts the event.

RE with the Orison team becomes more that just "reflecting on beliefs, teachings, world issues and ultimate questions," (Curriculum targets) it is experiencing these questions and reflections in a way that engages teens. For example, there is a wire cage where you can climb in, and then read questions such as, "Who is caging you in?"

Teens can explore the "zones" at their own pace, such as the "Image Zone," where there is a chance to consider their "image and identity," a World Zone, where they can pray about what is going on in the world, a "Sorry Zone," where they explore forgiving and being forgiven, as well as letting go of past hurts. There is also a "Bubble Zone, " which is a chill out zone complete with bubble tube, symbolizing sending up their prayers to God.Post-it notes with prayers everywhere!See the comments the pupils have made on previous experience days, by going to their website listed below.

Check out the Orizon website: www.orisonschools.org.uk

Teens Make Movies

2011-06-06T11:58:00.000-04:00

A young friend of mine, Claire (age 16), loves film/movie making has been trying out some new skills on a virtual school site called "skoolabarate".

Me: So, Claire, how does it work?

Claire:the company that make the site is called, "Second Life," and they have created a teen environment for schools called "Skoolabrate." This is a virtual world where you can meet teens from all around the world from other schools and you can work together on projects, such as making movies.

Me:Can you do this at home, or is it only through your school?

Claire:You can go on it (the site) at home, but you have to get involved through the school to make sure you are approved entry.It's secure as any school site, because it is part of school. Only teachers that have been approved are allowed on it- those teaches are the only adults."

Me:So what have you done on this site?

Claire:Lots! For example, I have created machinimas.A machinimas is an online virtual movie, which we make as a team with students from several countries. There are also human rights projects where you learn about human rights, and then create a project on a specific topic. We did one called Tapestry, where you have images of different human rights events and wrote about these events on the back of the Tapestry, which is like a big wall.

Me:What do you get out of doing this virtual school work?

Claire:You get to meet and collaborate with loads of people that normally you would never get to meet. And while making a machinima you can share your experince of what life is like in your country. I met a girl from Chile who was studying English and because I am from England we've been talking and keeping in touch. This has helped her improve her English and I've started learning Spanish from her; and who knows, out of our working together on new techniques and skills we may just have a film to show the world....or at least the other teens connected to 'Second Life'.

If you are interested in the future of global education, check out Claire's favourite site in the link above and see some of the other projects teens are developing today.

Relocation Support Team Final

2011-06-02T05:47:00.000-04:00

Single friends of mine, going on overseas work assignments, whether for corporate, missionary, or for non-governmental agencies (such as my stint in the Peace Corps) have often talked of needing, "a wife," and as I wrote in my book "Parents on the Move!" they "are not talking about getting married.

For me, when I was single, this might have included a cook (this meant ready-cooked meals when I had no time to cook), a laundry (thank you for all the services in the world where you can drop off dirty clothes and collect or have delivered at the end of the day!), and a house cleaner (blessings to all who have ever helped with keeping the home front sane)."

Today's blog is the final installment on developing your own Relocation Support Team list.

Number 8
I suggest that the eigth person on your list is someone to assist you with "Time Off." Before you say, "wait a minute, I haven't even started working yet and you are talking about time off?" The time off I am talking about here is more about building margins into what can be a crazily hectic life when you move from one country to another. Support Team Number Eight on one of my previous client's lists (and I must say I have adopted for myself especially when I carry my own luggage) is a message therapist!
My client said she "would travel anywhere if her husband promises this recovery therapy."
For others, Number 8 on your list is someone who can show you the golf course, but for all of us we need to find a way to build a Sabbath-once-a- week rest. We were made to need this rest. The person who can help you meet this need is important.

Number 9
Though you can list your support team in any order, parents with children that have special needs often need someone on their support team to help with food issues. You need real and honest information when it comes to finding food to avoid nut allergies or provide gluten free items at a reasonable cost. Families without these issues still need assistance when it comes to healthy food choices in a new location.

Number 10
Number Ten on your list is to leave room for "Other." As you go through the list and look at the advice you have received on developing your own support team, you will see that there is always room for someone unique to your own needs. Take time to pray, asking God if there is someone else you should add to this list and then wait to hear what He has to say. Pray for divine appointments; those times when someone crosses your path, and you just know God is providing an answer to prayer.

I pray that all who are reading this blog as part of their preparation to move across town or across the world as part of what Jesus Christ is asking them to do, that you will go in peace to love and serve the Lord.

Philippians 4:6-7 (NIV) Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which passes understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Remember- relocation is a team sport!

Relocation Support Team- Part Two

2011-06-01T07:02:00.000-04:00

Your Relocation Support Team List

Number Five
Number five on your Relocation Support Team (RST) is "Driver!" Two weeks ago I wrote about having a driver to take you around on your research trip, so that you are on time for your school appointments. A driver can also show you good neighbourhoods, and places to shop. If a professional driver (check they know school locations and not just business locations)is just too expensive for your relocation budget, and the Tom Tom is a challenge too far, then pray for someone who will be on the end of the phone to help you resource what you need.

Some of us, with map reading ability at zero, need some one who can simply draw a clear map. Think through the assistance you require to find who, what and where your needs are located in your new location. A new friend who knows the territory and doesn't mind giving you time to let you know the location of grocery stores and reasonably priced school clothes is a must on your support list!

Number Six
Number six on your RST is "Housing Advisor." Long after you have had your wonderful estate agent/ realtor find you a place to live, you need the contact details for what ever you need to look after your new home. Plumber? Repairman? The Housing Advisor has all the numbers! In the states, your realtor is often more than helpful with assisting you in this area. In the UK you may need to dig a little further to get someone to advise you. Remember, when you are renting you can't just call anyone to come in and fix the toilet, no matter how desperate you are; you must call in approved workers.

Number Seven
A Finance Advisor is a very good person to have on your list of support. This is not your accountant, but someone who is happy to advise you on purchases such as furniture or groceries. Note that this person is often the one who spends recreational time just hunting for bargains. Check if she (usually) is up for a chat over lunch- and have her recommend a good place. She will often know the best and yet most reasonable restaurant in town!

Asking for help
I was recently reminded by a friend that some cultures, such as the British, find it incredibly difficult to accept help even when offered. "Take up every offer of help at this time!," said this relocating mother. This is no time for pride; but very much a time to be gracious in accepting help as part of your welcome into your new community. Who knows? It might not be long before you know your way around and assist the next new person to the neighbourhood.

Tomorrow we complete the support list for your successful relocation...

Relocation Support Team List

2011-05-31T05:31:00.000-04:00

So, you are developing your personal support team for your overseas relocation. Even if you are not a list-person, it's time to make at least one list in your life to note the members of your personal team as you change countries. Especially if you are a single parent, you need this team. Single parents cannot throw their hands up in the air declaring that life is all too much to handle while trying to get to grips with a new job and say, "I'm leaving all that family stuff to the wife!"

As mentioned, your number one support is your faith in Father God and all He will do, as this relocation is NO surprise to Him. Joining this Number One on your list is someone who might be a prayer partner especially for your relocation research trip, as well as the period of transition from one country to another. This prayer partner understands that you need someone to whom you can give your prayer concerns (let them have the list!), keep these concerns confidential and at the same time remember that you are on the move and need an Aaron and a Hur (OK, some of us need two prayer partners!).

Number Two on your list is a Health Advisor. This is someone who will get you the telephone numbers of health providers in your new location. You do not want to have your child wake up in the middle of the night with pain (usualy ears) or quite ill from some strange-to-them food they ate and not know whom to call/ring. Who answers YOUR phone at three in the morning?

Number Three on my personal support team list is knowing where I can find a small Bible study group in my new location. This is the group of people who will remind me time and time again that no matter where in the world I go, Father God goes with me. It may take awhile to find such a group in your new location, and often you will wait to find this group when you have found a new church. Still, the sooner I can plug into Women's Ministry, the sooner I have access to other women of faith who know their way around the community, and that is an amazing assistance for mothers! Single working mothers may find this in their place of work (though that is more in London for lunch and New York City for after work).

Number Four on the list is an education advisor, and this does not necessarily mean a highly paid education consultant, but someone you can discuss personal child related school issues in the early days of relocation. This person can give you invaluable advise on assisting your child make the transition from one academic culture to another. Getting those first days of school right can make all the difference to a successful relocation for you and your child/children. It is a good idea to choose someone (for your personal education support) that will not just commiserate about how another country does things in the classroom, but can either explain details to you or assist you with developing a successful strategy for working with your child's new teacher.
Tomorrow I will look at the next three people on your Relocation Support Team..there are ten in all to assist you with a successful relocation indeed!

Relocation Support Team

2011-05-30T05:40:00.000-04:00

You may have heard the term, "Trailing Spouse," but I have to admit it is a term I cannot stand. To me, this would be the person in any relocation who trails behind, picking up the pieces when a relocation doesn't work. Yet, I met someone in Paris several years ago who loves the term. "That's me," she said, "I just move in the slip stream!"
I much prefer the acolade, "support spouse," meaning the person who makes the assignment successful for the entire family. If you are a single parent you can get caught up in being your own support team, and that just leads to exhaustion. Married or single, to insure the peace and even rest I talked about in last week's "Relocation Advisory" blog, you need to establish a personal support team (PST).
This support team has the sole purpose of assisting you in finding a new community in which you and your child/children thrive, new school/s, place to live, new church or whatever else you need. Need?

One of the most stressful aspects of any relocation is in actually knowing what you will need in a land you do not know.

As you start to build your PST for this relocation, remember that your Father God knew before you were born that you were going to make this move. Do you think for one minute that He will not be in the details? Take time to ask Him to reveal your needs for this move. "Not just what I think I need, but what You, Father God, KNOW I need," is a worthwhile prayer.

Ask Him also to help you speak truth in love to those around you. Too many people are quick to tell you what they think you will need as you relocate, so resolve to have that daily quiet time, listening to the Father's confirmation in your mind and heart for a needs vs wants list. Great is His faithfulness.

Ask Him what nurtures your spirit,(from the Holy Spirit), then nurtures your soul, and then your body. As you look to establish your support team, remember that you want the Holy Spirit to lead your spirit in your decision making, not your soul leading, not your body.Unless your spirit is nurtured as you establish this support team list, you waste a lot of time trying to feed your soul. When you are preparing for a relocation research trip, one thing you don't usually have is time to waste. A practical, "how-to" book for spirit nurturing (I would recommend for any long haul flight) is Dr Gary Chapman's, "God Speaks Your Love Language." For reading that will strenghten your resolve in establishing a godly PST, I keep Joyce Meyer's classic "Battlefield of the Mind," on my kindle. You are not going on vacation. You are taking new ground for the work He has given you.

If you are going to have the Biblical peace which passes understanding, and you long for the leading that at least knows where the still waters reside, then you need His support for the road. Tomorrow, I will talk about the next steps in rounding up your personal support team that enables success in any relocation.

Philippians 4:7 And the peace of God, which transends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

Research Trip Advisory

2011-05-25T02:56:00.000-04:00

"The second key to a successful research trip is an attitude of gratitude".
We need to have a 'different spirit' than the rest of the masses travelling these days!
This different spirit ( Numbers 14:24) is one that actively looks out for what the Lord is going to do for us as we move to where ever the Lord has called us to live. "This is why it is so important in our relocation strategy that our first step mentioned in Chapter 1 ("Parents on the Move!" published by Destiny Image Europe)is to know that He both told us to go and He promises He will go with us."
If you are travelling with teenagers or older children, have them get in the game. Tell them to keep notes, and challenge each other to "see things" that they just knowis a blessing from God, either for the research trip or as a hope for the move itself. For example, just meeting someone at the potential school that not only welcomes your family, but takes a special interest in your child's interests and lets them know the connections they can make in your new community. That's a blessing that opens doors!
Moses did not want to even think about relocating without God. "If your presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here." (Exodus 33:15)Thankfully the Lord agreed, saying "My presence will go with you and I will give you rest." (Exodus 33:14)
Rest? Are you kidding? Well, my husband and I are off travelling for a few days, but when we come back, I will look at just the support team to enable that rest that seems to elude most parents on the move. To be that well prepared parent for any research trip, do take time to order my book, "Parents on the Move!" from Amazon or the CLC website. May blessings abound in all yuor travels.

Relocation Research- Driving Around the New Location

2011-05-21T02:40:00.000-04:00

So, you have your list of six schools to visit (see "Parents on the Move!," chapter Three, Destiny Image Europe Publishers, you can order from Amazon or Christianbooks.com) and are setting up appointments to visit your schools. Write out a schedule for no more than three school visits a day. In my book, I provide you a sample "School Visiting Schedule," which you can photo copy and keep with you throughout your one week research trip.
Do make sure you have telephoned the schools before boarding the plane, to confirm your appointments and have a named person to meet at each school. You will have, of course, checked out school websites and any possible facebook info. Do not rely on this sort of social media as gospel for what actually happens at a school, but do use it to formulate your questions when on the school tour.
Secondly, I strongly recommend you splash out for a car driver. This may sound extravagant, but bear with me.This is no time to be late for school visits simply because you do not know your way around upper Manhattan or Fairfield County. Principals/Headmistresses have cleared a space for you on their time table and it is seriously not a good idea to be late in most school cultures. Having a driver can free you up to call ahead to the school (again, confirming that you are actually on the way) and to discuss education issues with someone on your support team (next week in this blog) while en route. Save learning your way around your new town for another time.When you are on your school visiting schedule, you are down to business! Should you wish to "see the location," the driver knows just where to look for Main Street/High Street, leafy neighbourhoods,shops, et al.
While I do not get a commission from any driver, I have suggestions for London (do email me)and New York (area) and have found Boston Coach to be reliable over the years in the later. Make sure, when booking the driver that he or she is happy to discuss neighbourhoods with you, and best school driving routes at eight am in the morning- they have some very helpful insights!

Research Trip for Relocation

2011-05-20T04:21:00.000-04:00

We are about to welcome the young couple who will be staying in our home while we head to the states for six months, as it's that time of year again when we switch countries. I was thinking how easy this transition is now, compared to earlier days. How lovely it is to just pick up the phone and have a friend meet us at the Tampa airport. We catch up on local news (who gossips?!) while driving across the Skyline Bridge and I am eager to once again get my toes into the Gulf of Mexico.
But it hasn't always been such a smooth transition. When you change countries with children, your focus is more on "How will they settle into the new school?" What do we do if the baby gets an earache on the flight? What if my teenager finds the transition a real pain?"
This is where a research trip several months ahead of the actual relocation is envaluable. Over the next several days I am going to write about what makes a successful research trip, especially when you are doing this as a single mother. The reason I am focusing on single mothers is that even when you are married, most overseas assignments are still male (see link for stats)and often the mum/mom does the research on her own.As one vetran of multiple corporate moves said to me, "When it comes to the research trip, I always feel like a single mother. OK, a single mother with a great paycheck." With corporate relocation packages not being at their best these days, I will focus on a more "doing it yourself" budget variety. Though I continue to write mostly about relocation between the UK and USA, it is my hope that the principles will aplly to other regions of the world....I always have my parents relocation to South Korea in mind!(And believe me, there was no beforehand trip.) Enjoy the prep. It's part of the journey....now, today I am back to shoving things in the attic!

English Mother's Day

2011-03-31T07:36:00.000-04:00

We're back in Surrey, England and looking forward to my daughter and son in law coming down from London to celebrate English Mother's Day; or Mothering Sunday, as they call it in the UK. The stores are packed with cards and flowers and gifts to give "mum." Even the post office had a lovely gift card, where you could load up a bit of money for your mum to spend at a variety of local shops.

I continue to give thanks for being able to be a mum/mom. Father God was and is so good to me!

So we go from celebrating Italian Father's Day Saturday before last, to English Mother's Day which may be a whole-weekend event. My daughter and I plan to take Saturday morning and enjoy a "facial" at Neal's Yard (a branch of the famous London natural skin-care shop) and then shop for some up-coming weddings of family and friends.

Then, in the late afternoon there are several music concerts; and though I am not sure they are in honour of Mother's Day, this mom is looking forward to going! One concert features rock- gospel. There is a whisper that this group which will be singing at Holy Trinity Church in Guildford on Saturday, may be tipped to be part of the Olympics Opening Ceremony. As my husband's oldest son is singing, we just might be able to say we will have someone in the family who is in the UK Olympics!

That evening a step-daughter in law will be singing English Cathedral Music at a church in Fleet, so we will head on to concert number two of the day after a quick Chinese dinner take away. Cathedral music doesn't seem to be much in demand for the Olympic concerts, but I am looking forward to quiet moments soaking in this historic musical tradition. I love Saturday nights when music prepares hearts and minds for Sunday worship.

Day Out in Italy

2011-03-21T16:11:00.000-04:00

Jo Parfitt's father wrote a book called "Global Grandparents" and it suggests than when you are visiting your children overseas it is a good idea to take a day or two and go out somewhere on your own. Leave the kids in peace! Give them a break!

So, today my husband and I decided we would brave the Italian traffic and head a hundred miles down the road to the seaside town of Pescara. The head office of my publisher, Destiny Image Europe has their office there and we were able to meet up with the lovely and welcoming Destiny Image Europe Team. For two hours we talked over my next book, as well as promotion work for my first book, "Parents on the Move!" Then we went to lunch together, and that is where I saw the greatest little idea for helping young families as they gather their lunch at a cafeteria. I will post a photo of this "Family Tray Carrier" as I call it when we get back to the UK and I can load up the photo.It may not be earth shaking, but I love simple technology that makes life for young moms and dads as simple as possible. Apparently those of you who have visited IKEA stores will have seen this little device but it is available generally throughout Italy.

Back "home", my step-daughter and I made a last minute run to the store to get my English son in law's birthday present;which of course will remain secret, but I have to say I am pleased that the home designer G..... has their home in this Marche' region of Italy. There are twenty one regions of Italy and this one is the home of G....and shoes- lots of Outlets!

We are now packing and preparing to get all we can into the one carry on bag allowed on Ryan Air and head back to the UK in the morning. Granddad is reading bedtime stories now and we prepare to say goodbye to Baby D. While global grandparenting has it's blessings, it is always hard to say goodbye.

Italian Father's Day

2011-03-19T10:27:00.000-04:00

Father's Day is today, a Saturday in Italy, so we are heading out tonight to a local pizza place to enjoy two generaions of fathers and give thanks for all they do for our family.

For me, Saturday mornings are always special. It's my time to recharge batteries, a type of Sabbath rest that doesn't happen when rushing to church on a Sunday. This Saturday we are with my husband's daughter and her young family in the Le Marche area on the Adriatic. Papa G (ie the son in law)woke up (from a sleepless night with baby D)to a sign on Baby D's chalkboard saying "Happy Father's Day, " and a note on his screen saver. Later in the morning my husband had some father-daughter time as they took Baby D to his weekly swimming lessons in the only learner pool for miles around.

I just basqued in the sun on the terrace. Some Saturdays I love time to myself, sometimes a special lesurily moment with my husband or a very long telephone chat with my sister. As part of this Italian version of my Saturday morning ritual I was enjoying a good book, but I was missing my very large black coffee. Then the idea came to me. I made the usual Italian expresso on the stovetop in one of those iconic Italian designed coffee makers, and poured it into an American sized mug, added hot water and presto...I had the Saturday morning coffee all set. Back on the balcony reading and giving thanks for the fathers in our family...

Friday in St'Elpidio

2011-03-18T09:24:00.000-04:00

Sunny day, but cool and the granparents (that's us) decded to go on one our walks with Baby D. Grandad did the technology (ie unflurrled this generation's complicated stoller/pushchair/passeggino) and I secured the hat. Off we went to see the small Friday market (Saturday is the bigger market in a nearby town)...and who did we run into but Italian grandma- or "Nona" as they say in these parts!

It makes you feel very much at home to run into someone you know in the market. After hugs and kisses (both sides of the cheeks) we then went on our way past kitchen items, fruit and veg and beautful blouses and teenage t-shirts and jeans. I can say "hello" with a good enough accent to get myself in trouble...vendors then come out with a whole string of incomprehensible words! I must say Italian men know how to make an older woman feel apreciated! Nothing lewd or menacing, just friendly and welcoming. What a treat!

We are back home and have had a big family lunch wth birthday cake for Chris's daughter...they made it together last night and I took photos. We may just have to YouTube some of my husband's good cooking methods. Yesterday was quite a baking day...birthday cake, then hot cross buns, then bread which was consumed in minutes. Food is such a part of family life here, and it is lovely to have some time to make, bake and enjoy!

There is quite a challenge when writing about this though....the computer keyboard is in yet another layout (ie not American and not English layout)and though the layout of the google checkin page is thankfully the same I am still guessings at the translation! Google Italia was all decorated for the 150th Republic anniversary yesterday!

Italian Flag Day

2011-03-17T08:33:00.000-04:00

It's a little sunnier today in Italy, though a cool wind blows on the beach. The waves were a bit rough, but we were there to do a family walk and to assist Baby D with sandcastles. On the drive down the hill from Sant'Elpidio to the "Mare" we saw flags hanging from balconies and quite a number of shops shut.
Today marks the 150th year of Italy being a republic and it is a national holiday. Road repairmen were working and the grocery store was open, but many people seem to be taking this one-off holiday as a day-off. Italians usually celebrate a national day in the summer, but this is a special day given as a no-work day in honour of the one hundred and fifty years of a unified country.
We are back up the hill now, and our exhausted sandcastle builder is sleeping while his parents and grandparents start the first BBQ of the year on the terrace- summer is coming!
When we stood on the beach earlier today, we eyed the waves and talked about the Tsunami in Japan. One of the expats here has a son who is married to a Japanese lady. Like many in the world, families have been grateful this week for skype and facebook and mobile/cell phones. When my sister and I spoke earlier this week, we remembered that it took two weeks for our mother to hear that her sister, brother in law and our cousin were alive after the huge earthquake in Chili in 1960. Today, I think of and pray for families who would love a day off to connect and build sandcastles.

Grandparents on the Move!

2011-03-16T08:53:00.000-04:00

We are back in Italy and enjoying being grandparents "up close" for a week. We try to visit twice a year and in between times, enjoy seeng the newest addition to our family on skype. This year, Baby D (now one and a half) met us at the airport with his parents; but after the long ride home he went straight to the compter and kept pointing- we were supposed to be on skype! And here we were- alive in person!

I just love the fact that he made the connection!

We flew Ryan Air down from Standsted airport yesterday and noted they are no longer just "handing out" little plastic bags for liquids. Now there is a vending machne where, for a pound ($1.62)- and you do need the proper coin- you can purchase a small platic baggie for your toothpaste etc. I've started stuffing our roll on- carry on bag (one per person), with zip lock bags from the supermarket.

We're looking forward to this week of pushcahir/stroller/passeggino walks into the ancient part of this hillside village and collectng Baby D from his nursery group one or two afternoons.....and I've got the baggies at the ready - just incase. You never know, somewhere in my parenting days I know I used them for more than just airline security!

Christmas 2010

2010-12-17T06:32:00.000-05:00

Christmas Greetings!
Last night our English church gathered for carol singing, going past homes in the village and straight to the pub on the cold and wintery night. We sang our hearts out and truely enjoyed "In the Bleak Mid-Winter" and "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen," as we passed out song sheets to all gathered in this most English of settings. We got everyone, including the policeman who stopped by, singing!

The publican produced mulled wine and mince pies and thanked us for accepting his invitation to get the locals into the true Christmas spirit. The thanks was all ours; especially as between songs and sips and spicy bites we had prayer requests that truely touched our hearts. Today we pray, knowing we do not have all the answers but we know the presence of the Holy Spirit changes things and gives us more than a song.

I am starting up this blog again, and am not ready to speak about the loss of my mother this year but am giving thanks for the years she placed surprises under the home-decorated tree.I look forward to the good things Our Father has for a heart that holds on. Happy Advent everyone!

Mom on a final journey

2010-09-22T15:16:00.000-04:00

Many apologies for not writing for days on end. This summer I stayed in Florida while I my husband went back to the UK and Italy to see the kids and grandchildren. I stayed to help look after mom. It was a quick learning curve regarding the US medical system, and it was and is a privelege to spend these final days with my eighty nine year old mother.

I will write more later, but I wanted to take a moment to thank everyone who has sent us greetings and kept my family and that of my brother and sister in their prayers. We give thanks especially for the Hospice team here in Venice, Florida! And for my husband's safe return to the states!

love and blessings, Kathleen

Dr Myles Munroe

2010-07-14T08:50:00.000-04:00

"If you are an eagle, you aren't going to fly with everyone else! You will not be found among the pigeons!" Dr Myles Munroe made us laugh and made us think these past two evenings at Faith Tabernacle Christian Center in St Paul, North Carolina.

"Where!?" you might ask. Even Dr Munroe wasn't sure where he was! "Somebody must have prayed!" he said as he let us know that where we were in the back woods of North Carolina was not on his schedule. But here he was. And he loved it! He loved the local food, and getting to know the people and their needs for reaching their God give potential.

He said the cemetary was the richest place on earth....there you can find so many unfilled dreams. Books that were meant to be written, but the people died. Songs that were meant to be sung, poetry that God had planted in hearts and minds, day care centers that had not been built, schools that had not had teachers...so many dreams had gone to the grave. He challenged us to know the dream that was in us, planted by the Lord from the beginning of time.

Fire flies!

2010-07-12T07:51:00.000-04:00

Last night I was sitting out in the late evening with my mother and my sister. We had just had a summer feast of catfist, corn on the cob (sesoned with Old Bay) and delicious watermelon. Mom told us about her grandfather, and how he had been a watermelon farmer. We enjoyed a little breeze while sitting under the tall Carolina pines, and hearing the stories on this hot night.

We recalled sitting on my grandparents porch in Charolotte, and running around with other kids we knew while the "old folks" talked the hours away into the dark, hot night. Then it dawned on me, we used to catch lightening bugs! Where the lightening bugs these days?

Some people call lightening bugs, fire flies, but what ever you call or called them when you were young, we used to catch them in a jar and then watch them light up in the night. We always asked our parents if we could sit the jar next to our bed, so we could watch them light up when the lights were out. Mom would insist we poke holes in the jar lid so we didn't kill the creatures, and some time long after hot little children had fallen asleep all the mothers I knew, including mine, would sneak in the bedroom and take the jars out the backdoor. The fire flies were released into freedom.

4th of July

2010-07-04T17:35:00.000-04:00

This is the first Fourth of July I have experienced in the USA in years! This "Involuntary Re-entry" is full of surprises, and one of them is the blessing that I can spend this time with my sister, brother and 89 year old mother.

It is interesteing to hear them reminise about "Fourths gone by" and of all the family gatherings I have missed. My mom talks about how she and dad celebrated this day while in Korea, and I share stories of make-shift celebrations in the UK, as well as British vs American basketball games in Jamaica. My brother talks of the wonderful fireworks in Washington, DC where he works as an archivist at the National Archives.

My sister looks at all of us, on this her favourite holiday of the entire year and shakes her head. She wishes she had a family who knew how to get on a plane and just come home for these festivities.

This morning at church we sang, "God Bless America" and said the pledge of Allegence. It brought tears to my eyes to be able to sing these songs and say these words, but I was SO grateful they were on the screen above. It had been so long, I wasn't sure I remembered. No one seemed terribly patriotic, as I had remembered they had once been; most people seemed concerned that America was losing it's way and much in need of prayer.
One of the local ladies I have recently come to know said, "My kids went to the beach today and asked me to join them. I said 'no, my country is in trouble. Time to go to church to pray." Amen.

Caring Bridge

2010-06-19T01:00:00.000-04:00

A year ago a friend in California emailed me about a young mother who had a terrible bicycle accident. I had suffered a similar though not as serious bicycle accident near my home, while riding in the countryside of England. My friend thought I would understand the trauma of what had happened and asked that I pray for this young woman, and her family. I readily agreed, but what made this a most unusual prayer request was the way the husband of the young woman would keep all those conserned about his wife up to date with her amazing progress. He used a growing website community called Caring Bridge.

Caring Bridge (ww.caringbridge.com) enables family members to post daily journal entries for a loved one recovering from cancer, or the progress of a premature baby, or simply share stories of a relative battling for their health. It is a great way to let family and friends around the world know what is going on when you are caring for someone and do not have the time to send multiple emails or answer every voice mail message. When your primary concern is caring for a loved one, yet others want to ask "how is it going?" Caring Bridge is a great resource-and it is free!

With all that is going on with my mother in her final stage of illness, I have turned to Caring Bridge to let family and friends in mulitple locations know "just how mom is doing today." It took only minutes to start the site yesterday and I was able to set the confidentiality level (ie who has access to information)that is right for our family. We've had calls from Liberia, and Hong Kong and visits from friends from Taiwan and South Korea as well as Texas and Washington,DC and each one has said, "Let us know how she does. Keep us informed." We can do this with Caring Bridge.

Involuntary Re-entry #2

2010-06-17T16:38:00.000-04:00

It is a privelege to care for a parent in their last days; and my mother is no exception. We are having a God-given and very special time together. I am cherishing every moment...now that I have accepted that caring for her means total immersion into a culture I have only experienced from time to time, southern Bible-belted summers while growing up.

My sister has always loved North Carolina, our mother's home state and she lives nearby (I am here so that my sister can get back to work as director of a regional hospital in this area-she has put in long hours helping mom, and dad before he passed away).

I have always preferred my father's home state, Arkansas. Carolina ways are different, but I am learning and loving the beauty of this area. I am also realising that all her married life my mother lived in Washington,DC for my dad. She was home base while he travelled all over the world, and then they both took off for South Korea. And then they settled down at Baylor University while they lived and worked as missionaries to the international Baptist Student Mission. All those years, mom has longed for the carolina pine trees and the beaches of the shore islands. These are her last days...so the least I can do is support her in spending them exactly where she wants!

I see her friends and our extended family stopping by to see how she is doing. We get so many calls, and cards and love from even the pharmacy delivery man ("Love your momma. She is so sweet," he says and adds that it is "no trouble to deliver anythings she wants.") Everyone I have met so far tell me of how they loved my dad in the years they knew him, and how much my mother means to them. Even in the grocery store (now learning new American foods) someone stops me and says, "Are you Mzz M's daughter? So good you can be here for her at this time."

Yes, indeed. I am falling in love with Carolina!

Involuntary Re-entry

2010-06-16T14:19:00.000-04:00

How many of you have ever relocated "back home" when it was not your desire to move? You find yourself in your country of origin and you are not ready to come home?

I have never lived in North Carolina, and this temporary move is a most unusual re-entry. It is re-entry to my mother's state! If you have read my book, "Parents on the Move!" you will recall that my parents, deep south southern Americans, raised us kids in Washington, DC. It was southern as country ham and biscuits inside our home, but northern territory once you stepped out the door. I started early, going from culture to culture within a single day.

My mother has chosen to spend her final days back on Carolina home ground where she was born, and I have "come home" to look after her. I am on a sharp learning curve, indeed. These days I am much more at home in Manhattan or London, yet am doing all I can to care for her and do this re-entry "stuff" so that I can be of help to all the family. When the plane landed in the Carolina hills, so many people said "welcome home" but I can't even find my way around a grocery store!

Priorities No 2

2010-06-10T10:22:00.000-04:00

If you read yeseterday's blog you will understand that the first thing I did today(after the first part of the "morning routine" that I do for mom) was to head to the nurse's station and weigh myself. As a result, I am thinking through MY priorities as a caregiver!

No 1 Healthy eating
I am telling mom how much I appreciate all the food,restaurants etc but I am going to take care in what I eat. Simple? Just have a southern mother and see how YOU do!

No 2 Exercise
This priority may be on my prayer list more than in reality, but I AM going to try to walk a half hour a day! There is a good walking path nearby. If you have read my book, "Parent's on the Move!" you will know that one of the things I try to do when I change location is find a "walk" and a walking partner.

No 3 Quiet Time
Maybe not a set time at the moment, but if I have my Bible handy I can take the moments that come, and practice the Brother Lawrence style of praying while "in the kitchen."

No 4 Writing
Next week my mother's nurse will be here for more hours, so I will head to the library and attempt writing book number two! Am also thinking about writing a paper for the Families in Global Transition conference that is held in Washington DC next March....and then an article on "Women's Ministry"...

In someways, I need to approach this move into mom's assissted living as another relocation...so different emotionally, but a relocation non the less.

Priorities No 1

2010-06-09T09:21:00.000-04:00

Jo Parfitt in her recent twitter asked, "what keeps you from writing?" I answered, "priorities!" In the first days of the news that my mother was dying, all I could think about was, "Mom, what do you want? What can I do for you?" As I said in the last blog entry, it was twenty-four-seven, this caregiving.

Brain tumours are strange things. Mom is physically fairly fit, very fit for an 89 year old. Though she is losing her ability to think clearly and get some words to the surface of her thoughts and speech, she does make her wishes known. One of them is to see her friends, everyone who stops by, and answer every telephone call. People are flying into see her, and calls are coming in at all hours from all over the world.

Her second priority seems to be to feed us like hmmm, well, there is no tomorrow! She wants us to take her to restaurants, and at first I thought this was for her to enjoy eating a variety of foods and have meals with her family. She likes to be with the family alright-but she doesn't eat a thing! I have wanted to cook for her and prepare special meals;but no,she wants to go to the Texas Steak House! She wanted the visiting- from- England -grandkids to enjoy Outback! My sister and I are now looking at each other with expressions such as, "We can't keep this up. We will be the size of a house!" She wants diets out the window (not for her, but for us!)Doing the dishes is OUT....cooking is OUT. Ironing is OUT. Going to church with her is IN....but those meals are not what we would call healthy either!
I am so glad my husband is here now. He is an amazing help but he looked in the fridge and said, "so much food but nothing to eat!" Mom has stocked the fridge with every treat in town, (but still wants to visit every restuarant in town). I know her heart is to see her kids, and grandkids and sons in laws enjoy life and have the laughter and conversation around her....but this caregiver is sneaking in some fruit and yoghurt!

Caregiver

2010-06-05T15:25:00.000-04:00

This is one of the most challenging things I have ever done-taking care of my mother in the last stages of a terminal illness. My husband and I were planning to be in Florida for several months when my mother called to say that she had an inoperable brain tumour and would I please travel up to North Carolina to visit her? Of course!

When I arrived, the lovely family doctor came to visit us and sat on the porch for a chat and a time of prayer. This is the Bible belt of America, and very much a culture of its own. This is the south, and so my sister and I sat on the porch with Dr B and held hands with mom and prayed. Then Dr B turned to my mother and lovingly looked right into her eyes.

"Libby," she said, "you taught these girls, and their brother, how to live. Now...you are going to teach them how to die. To die with dignity, in peace and with your loved ones around you. I will make sure you are in no pain, but for the emotional side of this life on earth, you will teach them God's way of passing on."

It was only later that we could make jokes and remind ourselves that no one says "dying" here...people just "pass."

At the moment each moment is precious and while we have everything anyone could need at this beautiful "independent/assisted/ nursing care" living space for the elderly that I now call "Assisted Camping" due to all the extended family BBQ's we have at the back of mom's cottage...these are moments of personal care for a mother saying good-bye to her family. It's the late nights, the midnight "runs" to the loo, notes back to England saying I won't be "home" this summer and then early morning assistance that mom needs. It's twenty-four seven, as they say in America.

Pentecost Sunday

2010-05-23T08:35:00.000-04:00

My mother received a call at 6:50 am this morning. My first thought was, "who would call at such an hour?" as I staggered to get the phone for her. While she was talking, I put the coffee on. Soon I heard words from my mother, "oh that's terrible. I am so sorry." At first I thought it was another elderly person calling saying that someone was ill or had died.
Then I heard her say, "and you say the scriptures will be read in Yoruba? And you have to miss that?"
When mom got off the phone, she said, "my friend has to work at the hospital this morning and can't go to church. And they will be reading the scriptures in her own language in honour of Pentecost Sunday. It is so sad she has to miss it."

I am moved by the fact that my mother would love a phone call at this hour from someone a very long way from home, from someone who just wanted to go to church to hear the scripture read in her own language, but cannot go...and that this woman knew my mother would be available for a "mom moment of comfort."

I give thanks for all those that have mothered me in the past when I was a long way from these southern states of America and needed a mom-moment. What a world we live in and how special it is when those that have lived and are living this global nomadic life are there for each other.

"Gotta go..." mom is on the phone calling First Baptist Church Washington,DC giving her Pentecost greetings. When she lived there she started the Pentecost Sunday serivce. She's telling them to remember to get the flags of the nations out!"

Girls Weekend

2010-05-22T16:15:00.000-04:00

My sister and I decided we would have a girls weekend to celebrate our mother and take time to tell her how much we love her. Friday night I cooked a special dinner, lit the candles and loaded up her favourite music. We did the memory lane a little and then retired to the porch for apple pie and ice cream...then stayed up and talked until one am like college girls! Knowing she has brain cancer, mom seems to want to leave no stone unturned when it comes to saying what she wants/needs to say.
This morning my sister brought in homemade pumpkin muffins accompanied by hazelnut coffee. A very good way to start the day, complete with sunshine and carolina pines in view. Then we were off to a nearby shop. Mom purchased a beautiful formal gown and very happy with that purchase she really got into the shopping...and we loved the Sister's (that's the name!)dress shop here in Lumberton. Beautiful lamps, mirrors, splendid dressing rooms make this a wonderful shopping experience. I tucked behind a dressing room door for a tear or two, briefly thinking that this could very well be our last shopping trip together, but took a firm grip of my very non-helpful to the shopping experience emotions. There is no point in thinking like this! With a smile firmly back on my face at the joy of how beautiful mom looked in that new dress, we headed home. Mom is resting before we head out to her favourite oyster restaurant this evening. What a special time! We are cherishing every moment.

Going Home

2010-05-20T17:41:00.000-04:00

I haven't written in a very long time, due my doing a partical re-entry to my country (but not state of origin), and my mother not being well. My husband and I were due to be in Florida for three months. He was happily adjusting to being an Englishman in the Sunshine State and I was thoroughly enjoying sunshine after an English grey winter. Then the call came. "Your mother is seriously ill, " I was told; and we discussed heading up to a small town in North Carolina where she resides in "assisted living." North Carolina is deep-south for those of you who wonder about the "North" in North Carolina. After a long walk and talk on the beach I decided I would go alone to spend a little time with my mother. You just about need another passport to head to my mother's home, and I didn't want to do a bi-cultural trip when my mother needed undiluted southern ways. I needed to not be a cultural translator for once. I will teach this old style southern way of dying to my half-English/half-American children as it is part of their heritage. I give thanks to my supportive husband as I figure out how to do this next stage of life in the global mix of international living.In this blog I look to process all that is happening as my mother prepares as only a southern lady could for her final transition...her amazing "going home" to see the king of kings. No passport required.

Accountability

2010-04-10T05:52:00.000-04:00

Years ago, when I was on a business trip to New York City as an HR consultant for one of the banks, I attended what I still call a Sunday School class (the rest of the world has moved on with new and various titles but I am nostolgic at times). It was just after nine-eleven and the topic of this class was money. What were people supposed to do? Jobs had been lost in a heartbeat and these class members were sitting in a room at Redeemer Presbyterian Church in Manhattan talking about Jesus.

I thought I was only attending the class because it was Sunday and that is what I do on Sundays, go to church. I am humbled to even think God had plans for me that morning, but what happened in that class blew me away. Sitting on not terribly comforable seats, we leaned forward as a man at a chalk board pulled us out of ourselves and got us to think about how Jesus could be in this violent and financial mess. Not the "how" of metaphysical how, but in reality, what was He doing here? How was He connecting New Yorkers to Himself and how was He getting His people to share the burdens of the time?
Then a word came up and impacted my life. The word came from the man at the front of the room and that word he spoke so clearly was "accountability," but what blew me away was what happened next. Here in an urban environment, where trust had been rocked to ground zero the members of this class were talking about openly sharing their financial situations with each other. One man spoke of how me met with his "accountability partner" at lunch and they opened their checkbooks to each other with the goal of working to support their families with Christ like standards.What? In New York share your checkbook stubs?
Yesterday, and this is now 2010, I had the priveledge of meeting with someone from Redeemer to talk about accountability for writers. The result of that meeting is that I've been asked to write a proposal for a writers conference to be held here in New York City. Working title: Urban Christian Writers Conference. Purpose: to be blown away by God's role for writers. Writers accountable to Him by challenging each other to be all He meant us to be.Let's pray!

Because of the Cross

2010-04-04T10:59:00.000-04:00

Philippeans 2:3
To me, good manners are esential for telling/showing someone they are important. It's a way we show 'preference' in that we show/let someone know that they are importnt to us, maybe even more important than our own wants and desires.
To some, I live in the land of good manners- England. I agree that English writers have produced a number of good books on the subject and many of the Queen's subjects display great qualities of consideration for others, but the English version of manners is only one version of the etiquette we have agreed to call "manners."
Each culture has a group of behaviours and words considered to be "best manners." Best manners are often about protocol, and I prefer to think more in terms of "simple manners." It's not complicated to say "sorry, love." when we have hurt someone with words or behviours even if we have no idea what we have done. It isn't pretentious to apologize and save sorting out the resons behind a hurt for a later date.
It is pride that keeps us from acknowledging our humanness and our willingnes to "prefer one another." Pride keeps a wife from apologising for dinner not happening, a nation from the starting point of reconciliation with another nation, and me laying my whole life at the foot of the coss.
On this Holy Weekend I want to say sorry to God in the name of Jesus...not a light or polite or flipant "sorry" but a more deeply felt "sorry" that my countries where I have a passport, where I live and play are not raising the name of Jesus above all other names. May nation upon nation prefer you.

Baptism

2010-04-01T13:16:00.000-04:00

Just a quick note to say that we are away this week at a family baptism in Italy. The following week we head to New York City and then down to Tampa where I look forward to catching up with a spot of blog writing!

In the meantime, let me say I think I found my new favourite airplane: Air Dolomiti. In addition to the interior of the plane being my favourite colour, you start with the flight attendants handing you a warm face cloth (real cloth, not paper) and then lovely snacks on a short flight. My six foot husband was actually comfortable in his seat and pleased to not have to pay extra for carrying large bags with grand-baby items.Smiles alround with cabin crew;and above all a good safe flight....not for the faint hearted, landing in Ancona as you slip over oil tankers. Oh, and it was cheaper than Ryan Air.

A blessed Resurrection Sunday to all...with Passover and Good Friday it is Holy Week, indeed.

Women's Ministry Farnham, England

2010-03-22T10:55:00.000-04:00

Many, many years ago Maryele went to Uruguay from England with her husband. As a bride,non-working and simply accompanying her spouse, she had nothing to do. Bored, she sat at the yacht club and read a book that had been given to her as a good-bye present. Now, a life-time later and giving her testimony back in a small town in England, she unwrapped an out of print and worn out book entitled, "The Great Adventure," which told of the great adventure life could be with Christ. "This was the book," she said.
Maryele said she thought she was a Christian until she read the book she held before us. "When I read this," she said, she made a decision to REALLY give her life to Jesus-and the adventure began! She started Bible studies in her Uruguayan home, and was able to be a support to newly arriving missionaries. But her Bible study work was short lived. Her non-Christian husband complained and she had to ask her home group to leave. This group was run by a local missionary, and worried as she was that they might have difficulty in finding a new place to meet it turned out to be the best thing for the group. That Bible study grew into a ministry in over nine new locations!
The reason I am telling you all this is that last Wednesday the Farnham Baptist Women's group that I enjoy here in England, sat mesermised by Maryele's tales of her life and travels. This was life in Latin America well over fify years ago! She spoke of the patience God gave her and that her husband finally became a Christian when he was 90 years old. For seven years they conducted Bible studies together.
Maryele knows the importance of an inspiring book. For the past twenty - or more- years she has sent books to people in a number of countries.Maryele is always recommending books to people. Recently she got us to donate books to a women's prison in Malaysia. Destiny Image Publishers talk about "changing the world, one book at a time." Maryele is living proof.

Families in Global Transition Conference

2010-03-12T08:01:00.000-05:00

We gathered from all over the world to share our experiences of living in countries that do not match our passports. We were corporate, military, NGO's, missionaries, diplomatic service and support spouses. The moment we walked into the Houston hotel we were with "our tribe!"

Kim did a great job in organising this weekend conference that featured guest speakers, breakfast round tables, research findings and workshops...and a creative dance or two with media. We were young tck's (third culture kids) and "older." Some of us had done "re-entry" and some of us have never known when to to go home...some of us have never had such a place in the first place but we all love family life and adventures in global nomadic life. Whew, it was good to be home- for the weekend!

I launched my "baby"...the book "Parents in Global Transition!" and was so encouraged to meet with other "new moms/mums" as they brought their "first born home" for the parents (multi-published authors in this cross cultural field) to see and, hopefully, review. Jo Parfitt gave several wonderfully encouraging workshops for writers finding their voice in a group of fluctuating accents. We didn't have to be any nationality to put pen to paper, just a story and a willingness to share that story. I have signed up for further writing workshops with Jo and have asked that she please start a writers "toddler group" for all of us first book authors.

I know as I reflect on this conference I will be writing more about Families in Global Transition; but for now, let me say that I have uploaded a photo of the first person who bought my book. The buyer was a young American who works at an international school in China. He bought one for himself and one for his headmaster. I give thanks, and pray that he is blessed by what he reads in "Parents on the Move."

Your International Love Language!

2010-03-03T12:34:00.000-05:00

Next Sunday (not this coming Sunday) is what they call Mothering Sunday in the UK, and I want to show my love to my children and give thanks to God for being a mom/mum. There were days, months, years when I wondered if I would ever get to be a mother. I was told that maybe I would never have that opportunity for medical reasons. Then, when I did get pregnant, I had four miscarriages. As I am one of those mothers that start talking to their babies within two weeks of conception, there is no way I can forget those precious little lives.

So, it is with great joy that I give thanks for my kids. It would have been good to have the book Five Love Languages (there is a version for kids), when they were young but at least I am aware of the Love Language concept at this stage of their adult lives. My daughter and I have one of our love languages in common (Quality Time) and she has planned a Mothering Sunday treat on the Saturday. I am very much looking forward to a day at a London spa! We're not spending money on facials or other treatments, but we are looking forward to time together just hanging out at the pool and steam room. We could talk for both the England and American Olympic teams!

My son is also great at remembering Mothering Sunday, but due to the fact it is so near his birthday we often chose to celebrate the American Mother's Day which is later in May. If you happen to be in the card shops in London (especially Canary Wharf area where expats tend to work) in May, you will see signs for "International Mother's Day" as the Australians and Germans, among others, also celebrate their mums/moms at that time. When I was an HR consultant for Lehman Brothers and Chase Manhattan/JP Morgan, I told many clients to remember, "She who "mothers" in two countries deserves two Mother's Days!"

I give thanks for the six adult "kids" that my husband and I now have between us; for our mended (ing?), somewhat blended family...and this mom still has four additional blessings to meet in heaven. I give thanks.

Take a moment and click here to discover your Love Language!

New Things

2010-02-23T07:31:00.000-05:00

Those of you who have read this blog from the beginning will know that I have been praying for Jen who has relocated to Australia (Jen of the "stopovers" entry) and Braam. Braam's relocation wasn't to another country. He moved from Canary Wharf to another investment firm just outside London...but it might have been thousands of miles away for the cultural change he has experienced.

Abraham (or Braam to his friends) has moved from an American work culture to a British work culture, which has brought some insights to this South African. He is becoming quite a "work-culture translator." When you read my book, "Parents on the Move," (out this March 2010 from Destiny Image Europe) you will see what a vital resource it is to have a cultural translator on staff. This is not a language translator, but someone who is able to see cultural differences in the workplace and assist others with making a transition from one approach to another.

While Braam hasn't done a lot of work-culture switching, he seems to have found two main differences in the American investment company he recenly left, and his new job at a British investment company. " Neither is right or wrong," he hastens to add, "they are simply the cultural values that define the way a company works."

For example, in the American work culture that he experienced, he found a core value of respect for every employee regardless of where you are in the company. If someone had an idea, it was at least listened to, even if everyone wanted to help you refine that idea! In the British company where he is now working, the culture seems to value listening to employees with the most experience, qualifications or higher position on the corporate heirarchy. " They are shown the most respect," says Braam who is happy that he is one of those who is shown considerable respect.

The second major cultural difference between his American and British work-culture experiences is that in the American work culture he was given scope for doing things the way he would like to do them (as long as he met dealines and goals etc), but in the British work-culture he has been told that there is a tradition in the company for "how things are done."

"I'm quite happy, but it's good to know which work culture works for you, before you accept a new job!" says Braam.

Some one else who is starting something new is Maryanne ...check out her blog and nourish your spirit with some lovely art. http://paintdance.blogspot.com/

Pancake Tuesday

2010-02-15T08:30:00.000-05:00

At the moment, the British grocery stores are promoting all the ingredients for English pancakes*, so being a Level Four (read "Parents on the Move!" to find your level), I have to make it complicated.

We have invited our Dutch friend, Rosalinde, for one of our favourite (because we like to eat) English traditions, Pancake Tuesday; and will start with German pancakes (my mother in law's recipe-the German first course for this tradition is with bacon) and finish with Dutch pancakes and French crepes. All cooked in an English kitchen (measurments, layout etc) and eaten by an American, an Englishman and our lovely Dutch friend. My kind of evening!

Pancake Tuesday is the night before Ash Wednesday, and it is the start of Lent. The last night for great carbs until Easter, at least for me. We fast for the day on Wednesday after the morning worship service in our local church. From Ash Wednesday until Easter Sunday many Christians around the world sacrifice such things as chocolate or wine, or maybe some habit for a season. We sacrfice these things, in the hope that through giving up something we truely enjoy we will gain understanding of the concept of sacrifice.

But Lent isn't just about giving up things. It's also a time to reflect on some issues in these challenging times. Let's remember that not everyone has the freedom to worship at a local church, or wear Ash Wednesday ashes on their foreheads which lets others know they have a commited faith. Let me encourage you to seriously consider joining me in Praying for The Persecuted Church in Lent. There is an excellent booklet that can help guide your prayers and it is produced by the Barnabas Fund. Find more information at http://www.barnabasfund.org/

I pray you have a thoughtful and reflective Lent, as we prepare to remember the sacrifice Jesus made so that we may have life, and life to the full.
*not just English pancakes, but Scottish and a whole aray of microwavable!

Stop Overs

2010-02-08T08:34:00.000-05:00

You may recall I have been praying for Jen, the lovely young woman relocating to Australia. She skyped the other night/day when she stopped over in Kuala Lumpur. I thought her remarks on the advantages of "stop overs" was worth noting here, especially for Experience Levels One and Two. See her notes below and then order the book "Parents on the Move!" to check out your Level of Relocation vs Experience Level!

“Doing a stopover” by Jen:

"It had been a while since I did a stopover and I decided to make this particular one longer than the previous because I was flying to Australia and would have had to change planes anyhow. My stopover was in Kuala Lumpur - around 25 hours, not including the journey to and from the airport...

Overall, I would say it was a positive experience and I would recommend it to anyone who is flying far and has the option of stopping in a new location for a night. Firstly, a stopover gives one the opportunity to get a taste of another city without having to commit yourself to one or two weeks- if you do not like the place, there are no regrets because you are only there for a night and if you do like what you see, you can always come back to explore further another time.

Secondly, long-haul flights can be exhausting and as we know, not good for our health so a stopover which includes a night in a hotel is a perfect way to un-wind, rest and break up your journey.

Finally, it also helps to deal with jet lag as it gives you an extra day to re-adjust and catch up with your new time zone, thus avoiding the unnecessary shock to your system when you arrive at your final destination."

It was great to literally see Jen in Kuala Lumpur on the webcam...I am not always a fan of using the camera when talking on skype but it was good to see her looking so well after such a long flight.

Just a note to say I have taken off the "comments" section of this blog as I understand you can only comment if you have a google account. Most of the comments I have received so far have come from email anway. Please do checkout the website http://www.parentsonthemove.com/ for contact details.

British Military Wives

2010-02-02T06:22:00.000-05:00

This past Saturday I attended a wonderful one day women's conference in Aldershot, a home of the British military. To begin with there was a great welcome, which is always a good start. Most of the attendees were from the base, but there were others like me who had heard about this conference from their local church. I came with two friends, and we had a day to remember!

The speaker was from St Aldate's in Oxford ( http://www.staldates.org.uk/) and she travels all over the world with her ministry "Heartscry!" ( http://www.heartcry.co.uk/) She's a Vicar's wife, but don't think of afternoon garden tea parties when you think of Rachel. Think of challenging you to being a watchman/watchwoman for the nation! Let me explain.

Rachel held up a glass with water. "What happens when an opera singer goes for the high notes?"
The glass breaks. Sound makes a vibration.
It was with sounds put together in a word, that God breathed out the word and created the world.

Then...Rachel asked these military wives, "what happens when your husbands are marching and go over a bridge?"
My friends and I hadn't a clue,but the hall errupted with women saying, "they break step!"
What's that about?

Well, it seems that the vibrations of marching could bring down the bridge unless they broke the pattern of being in-step. NOW, think of the walls of Jerricho. Men marching in step, round and round the walls seven times.

Rachel then asked us, "what sound are you making?"

She said that from the beginning of time God designed us, and made us to be here for such a time as this. (yes, think Ester) Are we being called to be "watch women?" Is there something happening in our world with which we are "not best pleased?" Are we meant to make a difference? What is it we want to say? What sound are we making and sending out in the world? Are we saying, "Not on my watch!" to something we feel strongly about?

I pray that you make a sound or two today. What is your sound? If we are in agreement about the sounds we send out and "keep in step" a wall or two just might come down.

English National Health Service

2010-01-29T10:59:00.000-05:00

I've had so many people, including American relatives ask me "what IS the British National Health Service like?" Even though I have a degree in politics, let me tell you that as much as possible....this blog is NOT political. I will share my experience but I will not be using this site to push you into politcal stances.

With that political disclaimer out of the way, let me say there is no truely "British" National Health. The service you get is different from town to town, never mind the differences between England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland. There are some structual similarities, but so far the questions have been more about the experience from the user end; in other words "what's it LIKE!"

So, let me tell you how I found the service at the nhs yesterday. Our nearest town is Farnham in Surrey. (This is when English friends go "Oh.....Surrey," because Surrey gets everything, and by that I mean the best of everything.) It's not that all of us are rich, but we talk alot. And we live near London (so many of us are commuters) so you can't fob us off with old ways of doing things. I say "we" because as a long term expat, I have one of those little nhs cards, along with the privilege of paying taxes.

Back to yesterday. I had received a letter saying that though the latest research states that a woman should only have a mammogramme once every three years, my doctor had recommended everyone in her practice to "have another one" as long as it had been over a year since our last one. Following me? I called Rebecca...I mean, Dr Reynolds and checked that there wasn't anything wrong with me. (A little paranoia that maybe this was her polite way of getting me for a recheck when something might be wrong.) She said she just wanted a latest report....a screening of all her female patients, and truely, everyone was "invited." I could turn it down.

I thought of the millions of women, including women in the USA where having a mammogramme would be an answer to prayer, so I duely went along. The Farnham hospital is mostly a new facility, with new wings having being built by selling off some land they owned. The breast screening clinic wasn't in the new bit. In fact, the clinic was in a mobile unit that seems to be visiting our hospital parking lot for a few weeks.

I went in and sat with two other women (no large waiting room with fresh coffeee and tea that you find in the breast screening home base in Guildford -our nearest large town where I had been before) but it was clean, with pleasant colors (very important to me) and a friendly Irish nurse who called my name the moment I walked in. I was just hearing a very good story from one of the waiting women about her granny who had recently died at 91 when I was called in for my check up. Moving right along, let me say these new machines are not painful with their plastic bits like the old metal machines ages ago and somehow it is a comfort that the nurse doesn't go racing out of the room while you hear a radiation buzz!

Two minutes later, I was thanked for coming (no, " thank you!"), quickly changed in a bright colored cubicle and slipped out the back door to my husband waiting in the car. Drive in mammogrammes!

Countdown to Moving

2010-01-28T06:11:00.000-05:00

Jen is the young Russian-English woman I mentioned last week. In one more week's time she moves to Austalia. She's on "countdown."

With her busy life that includes recently being on American television to tell about the London Salt Cave as well as researching best new camera buys (she thinks Kuala Lumpur shops), I am impressed with her adding something very 21st century to her to-do list: She has checked that her mother has up to date skype contacts!

For so many years, preparing-to-go included checking contact details in a little leather address book; making sure you had telephone numbers and more recently, emails. Jen's mother is no novice to travelling, whether it's heading back to Russia (her country of origin) or seeing Jen off on adventures to Isreal, Thailand, Turkey, Hong Kong, the Sahara.....you name it! But there are generational differences in dealing with what I called that "communication gap," that gap that comes when a member of the family travels off on their own. In my book, "Parents on the Move! (Destiny Image Europe publishers) I said that this was the gap that comes from differing time zones and unshared adventures.

Jen will communicate through her blog and develop her photoraphy, but I am impressed that this twenty-something woman took a moment in a very hectic countdown to relocating overseas to load up the skype contacts for her mum.

This week I continue to pray that Jen will see "Father God in the details" as she does all she needs to do before boarding that plane!

Final Edit

2010-01-27T11:39:00.000-05:00

http://www.eurodestinyimage.com/ Late last night I completed what looks like the final edit of the book "Parents on the Move!" and sent it back to Marzia, the project manager at Destiny Image Europe. Reflecting on coming to the end of writing this "how to" book, I look back over the past months and think how blessed I have been to work with this publishing team. It has been such a good experience!

Every step of the way the Destiny team has supported and encouraged me, which as a first time book writer, has been much apprecitated. They provided an excellent editor; who while noting every "i" that needed dotting, and every "t" that needed crossing, kept me focusing on what was working. Almost daily emails from Marzia blessed me with seeing progress! Chief of the publishing team is Pastor Pietro Evangelista, and from the day he led me and the rest of team in praying for this book, I knew I had made the right choice to publish with Destiny Image. I give thanks for their work!

Soon, Pietro and members of the Destiny Image Europe team will head to Nigeria and Kenya to encourage potential authors to publish their story. Have a look at the Destiny Image Europe website and click on the You Tube section. See the work they are doing in Jesus' Name, "Changing the world, one book at a time."

And by the way, you can go to my website, http://www.parentsonmove.com/ and click on the You Tube "book trailer" orgainised by Destiny Image Europe to see our vision for "Parents on the Move!" The book will be on sale this March 2010. Praise God!

Finding a Church

2010-01-22T08:28:00.000-05:00

It's a challenge to find a new church when you move. Thankfully today there are several websites to help you out, and one is simply called http://www.findachurch.com/

There are sites that call themselves "global," but unfortunately only mean American, and don't allow you to fill in the online form with the alpha-numeric zip codes (called post codes in some places) that are found where I am living in the UK. I often find myself wanting to fill in an American form that says it is international, but find it only takes numbers in the zip code area, and here we have both capital letters and numbers to make up that little code that insures the postman /mailman/postoffice worker gets to your house or flat/apartment.

So, on the new website that will support the book, Parents on the Move! we will be listing several links that I have tried and tested for finding a church in many parts of the world. Finding the name and address of a church is just the start-but an important start!- in finding a new faith family home. It can take considerable prayer, multiple visits and even what I call "hanging out time" to know if a church is right for you and your family.

Today let's take a moment to pray for those churches that need to keep their identity secret. Let's pray for the underground churches in the world. I hope that those of us living in countries where we are free to worship without fear take the time to attend the church of our choice and His leading. Let's give thanks for that freedom.

See you next Tuesday! DV!

Agape Flights

2010-01-21T10:48:00.000-05:00

http://www.agapeflights.com/
Haiti used to be a neighbour. Years ago, as a Peace Corps volunteer in Jamaica, I took a mailboat down to Trinidad. Along the way you get to hear what other islanders think of "your" island as well as what people from other islands think of the many, many islands in the Caribbean. Each island has a reputation.

I must admit, Jamaica's reputation wasn't always the best, but Haiti's reputation was dreadful. Hearing of the violence, even in those days made it hard to love our neighbour and a personal risk to bring development assistance.

As someone who was trained in hurricanne relief, I have the upmost respect for those aid workers going into help with the earthquake disaster. As much as I join others in praying for the victims, I also pray for those working to bring relief. For some, it must be a challenge that is more than anyone can imagine, to go into an island you do not know and try to help.

One aid group I want to bring to your attention today is Agape Flights. The people at Agape already know Haiti, and have supported missionaries living there for years. If you click on the link above, you can receive updates on their flights to provide medical support as well as cruicial supplies. My husband and I have visited the hangar a number of times and have seen the volunteer pilots and staff prepare to take an incredible array of items to approiximately 380 missionaries in Haiti, The Dominican Republic and the Bahamas. Normally there is a regular, weekly flight. At the moment, it's as many flights out to Haiti as possible! You can read how kind and generous small plane pilots have been to loan Agape their planes.

Sometimes, because of what we have heard, on the news or from other people, it can be a challenge to love our neighbour. We can look to the local governement and ask "what have you done to help your people over all these years?" We can also make a will choice to have mercy and do all we can to help in a time of need. Agape Ministries is right there, with knowlege of the land and love for the people. Take a moment to pray for their flights, supplies and tireless volunteer workers, as well as for the incredible people of Haiti. May God have mercy.

Women's Ministry

2010-01-20T17:23:00.000-05:00

Fishermans Net Revival Center LinkEvery Tuesday, no matter where in the world I am, I think of the Women's Group at Fisherman's Net Revival Center in Venice, Florida. On Wednesdays, I think of two women's groups; one in North Port, Florida and one in Farnham, England. As I said in "Parent's on the Move!" when you move to a new location, it's important to have a support team.

A Ministry group, men's or women's, is one of the most important support groups you can have.
And I don't mean groups that just get together to socialize; though that has value, these groups are also about growing in your faith and addressing the immediate concerns in your life. The group needs to be large enough to encourage people to use and develop their gifts, but small enough to enable trust and confidentiality.

Still, as I am thinking about women's ministry in particulary today and while the group in Venice (and thankfully North Port and Farnham, England) is growing, it is sad to say that this form of ministry is dying out in many parts of the world. We are just too busy, or feel it is not important enough to be on our weekly schedule. Maybe we associate these type of meetings with women who have nothing better to do. Nothing could be further from the truth! Praying women impact their families and communities, and pass on valuable information that is priceless for women living far from home. And if they are like my women's groups, they know how to email and facebook etc and pray for all your adventures. If you can't find one that suits your approach to Bible study and prayer, or even simply your schedule; why not consider starting a group?

This week I have posted two photos of the Fisherman's Net Revival Center in Venice Women's Group. I'm sending my love! Pastor Joy, your leadership in women's ministry is appreciated! You ladies are awesome!

Prayer for a new friend!

2010-01-19T06:42:00.000-05:00

For years Gay Mallam, my business partner at Childtrack
(education consultancy for financial community families in London) and I would pray for our "client-kids" to have a new friend on the first day of school. We prayed they would have someone to sit with at lunch, and someone to befriend them on the playground. Sometimes a quiet phone call would be made to the new school, just to check that the new school staff would be sensitive to "our kids" needs. As consultants, we could get away with this and protect the mother from looking over anxious.

No matter how old you are or sophisticated you have become, you need a new friend when you land in a new place. As a "prayer mom" who has retired from the City, my desire is to be a support for relcating families in a new and equally exciting way. Through the book I have written, Parents on the Move! you will see just how we successfully organised one week survey trips to locate that new school for the kids and worked with the best realtors/estate agents.

And we still pray. Today I am praying for a South African investment banker who has left Canary Wharf (only one?) and is starting his new job, and for a young English/Russian woman who is moving soon to Australia. Join me in praying that they have Father God's favour as they start work in their new location, and even for a friend or two for coffee, lunch, or someone to just show them the ropes!

Freedom to Believe

2010-01-15T07:07:00.001-05:00

It is always difficult to lose a family member, no matter how old and infirm they might be. Moments after arriving back in the UK my daughter sent me a text message that "granddad's not well," and that she would call me when they got home from church. By the time we spoke, her grandfather had passed away.

With all the snow, funeral arrangements have apparently been a challenge as many members of the family will need to travel quite a distance to get down to the "West Country" of England, Cornwall. My children's cousins have lived in Saudia Arabia for a number of years, but are now attending UK universities or working so all the "grandkids" will meet up. Funerals and Weddings as it is said, bring families together.

English funerals are very private affairs, unless you are royalty or well known for some other reason. There is no tradition of simply showing up to pay your respects. Ex-wives are thoroughly NOT welcome at this funeral, and that means that I and my former sister in law, who is still living in Saudia Arabia will not be attending. We had a good skype chat about it today.

Skype is such a gift to global families. You download it for free and then you "telephone" via your laptop (with built in microphone) for free. It is one of the most worthwhile things to sign up for if you are considering moving out of state or overseas and intend to stay in touch with family. It means you can have more than a brief expensive chat. You can really talk. And write each other notes while you are talking; in our case, updating the kids contact details.

As the family prepares to fly in/drive/travel via train etc to remember a man who was a great challenge to family life and someone who spent much energy on mocking Christians, it is my hope that we all remember that we never know if someone called on the Father of us all, in Jesus's name at the last minute. What we do know is that God is gracious and if He remembered our transgressions, who would stand?

Celebrate Religeous Freedom Day on the 16th of January!

May you have a blessed weekend and remember to have a Sabbath Rest! Good Lord willing, see you Monday.

Back in England

2010-01-11T07:06:00.000-05:00

We left the cold but sunny Italy and flew into the snowiest England I have ever seen, and I have been living overseas in the UK for thirty years! We will have to add photos to this blog or even I won't believe what I am seeing out my window.

This weather makes me think of baking to warm up the kitchen on a winter day. On Saturdays I love to make either waffles or pancakes and this past Saturday was no exception, except that my step-daughter is absolutley a Level Six when it comes to her kitchen and cooking in general. This meant that everything was geared up to Italian ways and means....a beautiful Italian designed scale on the counter but no American measureing cups or spoons. Not even English measuring equipment and she is English! Thankfully my husband knows how to convert Italian to English to American recipes and I could work backwards from the Better Homes and Gardens recipe I found on the internet. I give thanks that we do not have to lug around cook books these days!

So....blueberry pancakes it was and today I am thinking about chocolate chips cookies, and my Level Four kitchen is all prepared! Just the thing to match up with hot chocolate and marshmallows after a lunch time of playing in this amazing snow that looks more like Colorado than England!

If you want to know more about Levels of Livng or Moving to another country, remember to order my book "Parents on the Move!" which is coming out in March, from Destiny Image Europe. As we start to build the website to accompany the book, you will also see weblinks to great cooking sites.

Blessings, Kathleen

Christmas in Italy

2010-01-08T10:15:00.000-05:00

If you ever want to know how much freedom you have lost with regard to celebrating Christmas, come to Italy! On every corner there is a miniture or even life sized nativity scene. Each store window is beautifully dressed, and ancient lanes provide surprises of donkeys and hay and parts of the Christmas story written on the wall for passers-by to stop and recall each step of this lovely story of the birth of Christ.

And it doesn't all happen on one day. Yesterday was 6 th of January....or, in other words, the visit of the Maji. We walked into the historic part of the town and it wasn't just the baby's eyes that lit up when we saw the lights in the town square.

Three elders of the town were dressed as "wise men" and they led a procession from one corner of the square to where "King Herod" was standing on some steps. At this point the story was told of how Herod wanted to go and kill all the "little boys!" which sent the boys delightfully screaming and running to hide behind parents.

From there we all prossessed into the church, with the priest continuing the story. By the altar sat "Mary and Joseph" (young parents with newborn dressed in swaddling clothes- well, a blue cloth) who told a little of what it was like to be "new parents." Then the older children were given the opportunity to ask the wise men a question or two. The first question was "Do you like being a maji!" Lots of laughter, family milling around talking (even on mobile phones) and then sweets handed out.

It wasn't too long before a "witch" arrived to distract the children and handed out more sweets/candy....and we had to think....where did that come from in the story!

Coffee in Italy

2010-01-06T07:09:00.000-05:00

Coffee in Italy is what tea is to England. It is taken seriously. Giovanni, my step-son in law says that coffee made the Italian way is the only thing he needs when travelling out of Italy. He has never found it properly made (out of Italy) and that is mostly due to the way the stove tops are made. You need a gas stove with specially shaped "ring" to fit the small metal coffee maker.

On our past visits I have learned about the paraphenalia that goes with expresso and started learning the fine art of making it myself.On this trip I am undertaking actually making it for Giovanni as part of my supporting this new dad as he and Alison care for baby Daniel. So far, my coffee making has been labelled "OK" and at least he has been kind enough to drink it!

If you are living at Level 6 in Italy expresso is enjoyed all day...but capuccino only up until 11 am! Expats living here who venture to have a cappuccino after lunch in a restaurant risk the raised eyebrows. I think we will stick with the expresso with its iconic stove top coffee maker. French press coffee makers and Mr Coffee are not needed and not insight!

Travelling to Ancona

2010-01-05T08:40:00.000-05:00

According to my step-daughter Alison, Italians often clap when the plane lands, but even the English and this American clapped this morning when the Ryan Air pilot managed to find his way (yes, praise God there are instruments) through the fog and over the oil refinery...having slopped down from the alps and across a very misty, foggy Adriatic Sea...to a smoothe landing.

I know I am a step granny (Granny Smith) and not a biological granny to Daniel, but my heart just melted when I saw him at Arrivals with his American flag baby cap. Blending multiple-passport famiies has its challenges but also amazing joys.

We had so much we wanted to bring for this new grandchild, so it is easy to complain about only being allowed one carry on bag (as part of your flight price) but travelling this light also makes the journey much less stressful. Still, most of Chris's bag was loaded with baby toys and clothes that we had picked up in the States and the UK.

Having family provide all we couldn't pack (extra winter clothes, bath robes etc) is much appreciated. It makes me think about the challenge a young family faces with all the much needed baby items. I'll start scouting around for high chairs, car seats and whatever is needed when the Italian-English part of the family visit the states!

We give thanks for this time together.

Global grandparenting!

2010-01-04T11:52:00.000-05:00

Happy New Year! May you and your family be blessed in 2010.

This blog is just getting started and tomorrow morning Chris and I are off to Italy to see our recently arrived Italian-English grandson. Daniel is Chris's first grandson living in a country other than the UK; and I think we need to put Jo Parfitt's new book ,"Global Grandparenting," at the top of our reading list.

Main Event for 2010: Families in Global Transition Conference in Houston Texas
March 4-6
Check the link on this blog below!

Up EARLY in the morning to get the EARLY flight out of Stansted.

Chow!