Single friends of mine, going on overseas work assignments, whether for corporate, missionary, or for non-governmental agencies (such as my stint in the Peace Corps) have often talked of needing, "a wife," and as I wrote in my book "Parents on the Move!" they "are not talking about getting married.
For me, when I was single, this might have included a cook (this meant ready-cooked meals when I had no time to cook), a laundry (thank you for all the services in the world where you can drop off dirty clothes and collect or have delivered at the end of the day!), and a house cleaner (blessings to all who have ever helped with keeping the home front sane)."
Today's blog is the final installment on developing your own Relocation Support Team list.
Number 8
I suggest that the eigth person on your list is someone to assist you with "Time Off." Before you say, "wait a minute, I haven't even started working yet and you are talking about time off?" The time off I am talking about here is more about building margins into what can be a crazily hectic life when you move from one country to another. Support Team Number Eight on one of my previous client's lists (and I must say I have adopted for myself especially when I carry my own luggage) is a message therapist!
My client said she "would travel anywhere if her husband promises this recovery therapy."
For others, Number 8 on your list is someone who can show you the golf course, but for all of us we need to find a way to build a Sabbath-once-a- week rest. We were made to need this rest. The person who can help you meet this need is important.
Number 9
Though you can list your support team in any order, parents with children that have special needs often need someone on their support team to help with food issues. You need real and honest information when it comes to finding food to avoid nut allergies or provide gluten free items at a reasonable cost. Families without these issues still need assistance when it comes to healthy food choices in a new location.
Number 10
Number Ten on your list is to leave room for "Other." As you go through the list and look at the advice you have received on developing your own support team, you will see that there is always room for someone unique to your own needs. Take time to pray, asking God if there is someone else you should add to this list and then wait to hear what He has to say. Pray for divine appointments; those times when someone crosses your path, and you just know God is providing an answer to prayer.
I pray that all who are reading this blog as part of their preparation to move across town or across the world as part of what Jesus Christ is asking them to do, that you will go in peace to love and serve the Lord.
Philippians 4:6-7 (NIV) Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which passes understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Remember- relocation is a team sport!
Thursday, 2 June 2011
Wednesday, 1 June 2011
Relocation Support Team- Part Two
Your Relocation Support Team List
Number Five
Number five on your Relocation Support Team (RST) is "Driver!" Two weeks ago I wrote about having a driver to take you around on your research trip, so that you are on time for your school appointments. A driver can also show you good neighbourhoods, and places to shop. If a professional driver (check they know school locations and not just business locations)is just too expensive for your relocation budget, and the Tom Tom is a challenge too far, then pray for someone who will be on the end of the phone to help you resource what you need.
Some of us, with map reading ability at zero, need some one who can simply draw a clear map. Think through the assistance you require to find who, what and where your needs are located in your new location. A new friend who knows the territory and doesn't mind giving you time to let you know the location of grocery stores and reasonably priced school clothes is a must on your support list!
Number Six
Number six on your RST is "Housing Advisor." Long after you have had your wonderful estate agent/ realtor find you a place to live, you need the contact details for what ever you need to look after your new home. Plumber? Repairman? The Housing Advisor has all the numbers! In the states, your realtor is often more than helpful with assisting you in this area. In the UK you may need to dig a little further to get someone to advise you. Remember, when you are renting you can't just call anyone to come in and fix the toilet, no matter how desperate you are; you must call in approved workers.
Number Seven
A Finance Advisor is a very good person to have on your list of support. This is not your accountant, but someone who is happy to advise you on purchases such as furniture or groceries. Note that this person is often the one who spends recreational time just hunting for bargains. Check if she (usually) is up for a chat over lunch- and have her recommend a good place. She will often know the best and yet most reasonable restaurant in town!
Asking for help
I was recently reminded by a friend that some cultures, such as the British, find it incredibly difficult to accept help even when offered. "Take up every offer of help at this time!," said this relocating mother. This is no time for pride; but very much a time to be gracious in accepting help as part of your welcome into your new community. Who knows? It might not be long before you know your way around and assist the next new person to the neighbourhood.
Tomorrow we complete the support list for your successful relocation...
Number Five
Number five on your Relocation Support Team (RST) is "Driver!" Two weeks ago I wrote about having a driver to take you around on your research trip, so that you are on time for your school appointments. A driver can also show you good neighbourhoods, and places to shop. If a professional driver (check they know school locations and not just business locations)is just too expensive for your relocation budget, and the Tom Tom is a challenge too far, then pray for someone who will be on the end of the phone to help you resource what you need.
Some of us, with map reading ability at zero, need some one who can simply draw a clear map. Think through the assistance you require to find who, what and where your needs are located in your new location. A new friend who knows the territory and doesn't mind giving you time to let you know the location of grocery stores and reasonably priced school clothes is a must on your support list!
Number Six
Number six on your RST is "Housing Advisor." Long after you have had your wonderful estate agent/ realtor find you a place to live, you need the contact details for what ever you need to look after your new home. Plumber? Repairman? The Housing Advisor has all the numbers! In the states, your realtor is often more than helpful with assisting you in this area. In the UK you may need to dig a little further to get someone to advise you. Remember, when you are renting you can't just call anyone to come in and fix the toilet, no matter how desperate you are; you must call in approved workers.
Number Seven
A Finance Advisor is a very good person to have on your list of support. This is not your accountant, but someone who is happy to advise you on purchases such as furniture or groceries. Note that this person is often the one who spends recreational time just hunting for bargains. Check if she (usually) is up for a chat over lunch- and have her recommend a good place. She will often know the best and yet most reasonable restaurant in town!
Asking for help
I was recently reminded by a friend that some cultures, such as the British, find it incredibly difficult to accept help even when offered. "Take up every offer of help at this time!," said this relocating mother. This is no time for pride; but very much a time to be gracious in accepting help as part of your welcome into your new community. Who knows? It might not be long before you know your way around and assist the next new person to the neighbourhood.
Tomorrow we complete the support list for your successful relocation...
Tuesday, 31 May 2011
Relocation Support Team List
So, you are developing your personal support team for your overseas relocation. Even if you are not a list-person, it's time to make at least one list in your life to note the members of your personal team as you change countries. Especially if you are a single parent, you need this team. Single parents cannot throw their hands up in the air declaring that life is all too much to handle while trying to get to grips with a new job and say, "I'm leaving all that family stuff to the wife!"
As mentioned, your number one support is your faith in Father God and all He will do, as this relocation is NO surprise to Him. Joining this Number One on your list is someone who might be a prayer partner especially for your relocation research trip, as well as the period of transition from one country to another. This prayer partner understands that you need someone to whom you can give your prayer concerns (let them have the list!), keep these concerns confidential and at the same time remember that you are on the move and need an Aaron and a Hur (OK, some of us need two prayer partners!).
Number Two on your list is a Health Advisor. This is someone who will get you the telephone numbers of health providers in your new location. You do not want to have your child wake up in the middle of the night with pain (usualy ears) or quite ill from some strange-to-them food they ate and not know whom to call/ring. Who answers YOUR phone at three in the morning?
Number Three on my personal support team list is knowing where I can find a small Bible study group in my new location. This is the group of people who will remind me time and time again that no matter where in the world I go, Father God goes with me. It may take awhile to find such a group in your new location, and often you will wait to find this group when you have found a new church. Still, the sooner I can plug into Women's Ministry, the sooner I have access to other women of faith who know their way around the community, and that is an amazing assistance for mothers! Single working mothers may find this in their place of work (though that is more in London for lunch and New York City for after work).
Number Four on the list is an education advisor, and this does not necessarily mean a highly paid education consultant, but someone you can discuss personal child related school issues in the early days of relocation. This person can give you invaluable advise on assisting your child make the transition from one academic culture to another. Getting those first days of school right can make all the difference to a successful relocation for you and your child/children. It is a good idea to choose someone (for your personal education support) that will not just commiserate about how another country does things in the classroom, but can either explain details to you or assist you with developing a successful strategy for working with your child's new teacher.
Tomorrow I will look at the next three people on your Relocation Support Team..there are ten in all to assist you with a successful relocation indeed!
As mentioned, your number one support is your faith in Father God and all He will do, as this relocation is NO surprise to Him. Joining this Number One on your list is someone who might be a prayer partner especially for your relocation research trip, as well as the period of transition from one country to another. This prayer partner understands that you need someone to whom you can give your prayer concerns (let them have the list!), keep these concerns confidential and at the same time remember that you are on the move and need an Aaron and a Hur (OK, some of us need two prayer partners!).
Number Two on your list is a Health Advisor. This is someone who will get you the telephone numbers of health providers in your new location. You do not want to have your child wake up in the middle of the night with pain (usualy ears) or quite ill from some strange-to-them food they ate and not know whom to call/ring. Who answers YOUR phone at three in the morning?
Number Three on my personal support team list is knowing where I can find a small Bible study group in my new location. This is the group of people who will remind me time and time again that no matter where in the world I go, Father God goes with me. It may take awhile to find such a group in your new location, and often you will wait to find this group when you have found a new church. Still, the sooner I can plug into Women's Ministry, the sooner I have access to other women of faith who know their way around the community, and that is an amazing assistance for mothers! Single working mothers may find this in their place of work (though that is more in London for lunch and New York City for after work).
Number Four on the list is an education advisor, and this does not necessarily mean a highly paid education consultant, but someone you can discuss personal child related school issues in the early days of relocation. This person can give you invaluable advise on assisting your child make the transition from one academic culture to another. Getting those first days of school right can make all the difference to a successful relocation for you and your child/children. It is a good idea to choose someone (for your personal education support) that will not just commiserate about how another country does things in the classroom, but can either explain details to you or assist you with developing a successful strategy for working with your child's new teacher.
Tomorrow I will look at the next three people on your Relocation Support Team..there are ten in all to assist you with a successful relocation indeed!
Monday, 30 May 2011
Relocation Support Team
You may have heard the term, "Trailing Spouse," but I have to admit it is a term I cannot stand. To me, this would be the person in any relocation who trails behind, picking up the pieces when a relocation doesn't work. Yet, I met someone in Paris several years ago who loves the term. "That's me," she said, "I just move in the slip stream!"
I much prefer the acolade, "support spouse," meaning the person who makes the assignment successful for the entire family. If you are a single parent you can get caught up in being your own support team, and that just leads to exhaustion. Married or single, to insure the peace and even rest I talked about in last week's "Relocation Advisory" blog, you need to establish a personal support team (PST).
This support team has the sole purpose of assisting you in finding a new community in which you and your child/children thrive, new school/s, place to live, new church or whatever else you need. Need?
One of the most stressful aspects of any relocation is in actually knowing what you will need in a land you do not know.
As you start to build your PST for this relocation, remember that your Father God knew before you were born that you were going to make this move. Do you think for one minute that He will not be in the details? Take time to ask Him to reveal your needs for this move. "Not just what I think I need, but what You, Father God, KNOW I need," is a worthwhile prayer.
Ask Him also to help you speak truth in love to those around you. Too many people are quick to tell you what they think you will need as you relocate, so resolve to have that daily quiet time, listening to the Father's confirmation in your mind and heart for a needs vs wants list. Great is His faithfulness.
Ask Him what nurtures your spirit,(from the Holy Spirit), then nurtures your soul, and then your body. As you look to establish your support team, remember that you want the Holy Spirit to lead your spirit in your decision making, not your soul leading, not your body.Unless your spirit is nurtured as you establish this support team list, you waste a lot of time trying to feed your soul. When you are preparing for a relocation research trip, one thing you don't usually have is time to waste. A practical, "how-to" book for spirit nurturing (I would recommend for any long haul flight) is Dr Gary Chapman's, "God Speaks Your Love Language." For reading that will strenghten your resolve in establishing a godly PST, I keep Joyce Meyer's classic "Battlefield of the Mind," on my kindle. You are not going on vacation. You are taking new ground for the work He has given you.
If you are going to have the Biblical peace which passes understanding, and you long for the leading that at least knows where the still waters reside, then you need His support for the road. Tomorrow, I will talk about the next steps in rounding up your personal support team that enables success in any relocation.
Philippians 4:7 And the peace of God, which transends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.
I much prefer the acolade, "support spouse," meaning the person who makes the assignment successful for the entire family. If you are a single parent you can get caught up in being your own support team, and that just leads to exhaustion. Married or single, to insure the peace and even rest I talked about in last week's "Relocation Advisory" blog, you need to establish a personal support team (PST).
This support team has the sole purpose of assisting you in finding a new community in which you and your child/children thrive, new school/s, place to live, new church or whatever else you need. Need?
One of the most stressful aspects of any relocation is in actually knowing what you will need in a land you do not know.
As you start to build your PST for this relocation, remember that your Father God knew before you were born that you were going to make this move. Do you think for one minute that He will not be in the details? Take time to ask Him to reveal your needs for this move. "Not just what I think I need, but what You, Father God, KNOW I need," is a worthwhile prayer.
Ask Him also to help you speak truth in love to those around you. Too many people are quick to tell you what they think you will need as you relocate, so resolve to have that daily quiet time, listening to the Father's confirmation in your mind and heart for a needs vs wants list. Great is His faithfulness.
Ask Him what nurtures your spirit,(from the Holy Spirit), then nurtures your soul, and then your body. As you look to establish your support team, remember that you want the Holy Spirit to lead your spirit in your decision making, not your soul leading, not your body.Unless your spirit is nurtured as you establish this support team list, you waste a lot of time trying to feed your soul. When you are preparing for a relocation research trip, one thing you don't usually have is time to waste. A practical, "how-to" book for spirit nurturing (I would recommend for any long haul flight) is Dr Gary Chapman's, "God Speaks Your Love Language." For reading that will strenghten your resolve in establishing a godly PST, I keep Joyce Meyer's classic "Battlefield of the Mind," on my kindle. You are not going on vacation. You are taking new ground for the work He has given you.
If you are going to have the Biblical peace which passes understanding, and you long for the leading that at least knows where the still waters reside, then you need His support for the road. Tomorrow, I will talk about the next steps in rounding up your personal support team that enables success in any relocation.
Philippians 4:7 And the peace of God, which transends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.
Wednesday, 25 May 2011
Research Trip Advisory
"The second key to a successful research trip is an attitude of gratitude".
We need to have a 'different spirit' than the rest of the masses travelling these days!
This different spirit ( Numbers 14:24) is one that actively looks out for what the Lord is going to do for us as we move to where ever the Lord has called us to live. "This is why it is so important in our relocation strategy that our first step mentioned in Chapter 1 ("Parents on the Move!" published by Destiny Image Europe)is to know that He both told us to go and He promises He will go with us."
If you are travelling with teenagers or older children, have them get in the game. Tell them to keep notes, and challenge each other to "see things" that they just knowis a blessing from God, either for the research trip or as a hope for the move itself. For example, just meeting someone at the potential school that not only welcomes your family, but takes a special interest in your child's interests and lets them know the connections they can make in your new community. That's a blessing that opens doors!
Moses did not want to even think about relocating without God. "If your presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here." (Exodus 33:15)Thankfully the Lord agreed, saying "My presence will go with you and I will give you rest." (Exodus 33:14)
Rest? Are you kidding? Well, my husband and I are off travelling for a few days, but when we come back, I will look at just the support team to enable that rest that seems to elude most parents on the move. To be that well prepared parent for any research trip, do take time to order my book, "Parents on the Move!" from Amazon or the CLC website. May blessings abound in all yuor travels.
We need to have a 'different spirit' than the rest of the masses travelling these days!
This different spirit ( Numbers 14:24) is one that actively looks out for what the Lord is going to do for us as we move to where ever the Lord has called us to live. "This is why it is so important in our relocation strategy that our first step mentioned in Chapter 1 ("Parents on the Move!" published by Destiny Image Europe)is to know that He both told us to go and He promises He will go with us."
If you are travelling with teenagers or older children, have them get in the game. Tell them to keep notes, and challenge each other to "see things" that they just knowis a blessing from God, either for the research trip or as a hope for the move itself. For example, just meeting someone at the potential school that not only welcomes your family, but takes a special interest in your child's interests and lets them know the connections they can make in your new community. That's a blessing that opens doors!
Moses did not want to even think about relocating without God. "If your presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here." (Exodus 33:15)Thankfully the Lord agreed, saying "My presence will go with you and I will give you rest." (Exodus 33:14)
Rest? Are you kidding? Well, my husband and I are off travelling for a few days, but when we come back, I will look at just the support team to enable that rest that seems to elude most parents on the move. To be that well prepared parent for any research trip, do take time to order my book, "Parents on the Move!" from Amazon or the CLC website. May blessings abound in all yuor travels.
Saturday, 21 May 2011
Relocation Research- Driving Around the New Location
So, you have your list of six schools to visit (see "Parents on the Move!," chapter Three, Destiny Image Europe Publishers, you can order from Amazon or Christianbooks.com) and are setting up appointments to visit your schools. Write out a schedule for no more than three school visits a day. In my book, I provide you a sample "School Visiting Schedule," which you can photo copy and keep with you throughout your one week research trip.
Do make sure you have telephoned the schools before boarding the plane, to confirm your appointments and have a named person to meet at each school. You will have, of course, checked out school websites and any possible facebook info. Do not rely on this sort of social media as gospel for what actually happens at a school, but do use it to formulate your questions when on the school tour.
Secondly, I strongly recommend you splash out for a car driver. This may sound extravagant, but bear with me.This is no time to be late for school visits simply because you do not know your way around upper Manhattan or Fairfield County. Principals/Headmistresses have cleared a space for you on their time table and it is seriously not a good idea to be late in most school cultures. Having a driver can free you up to call ahead to the school (again, confirming that you are actually on the way) and to discuss education issues with someone on your support team (next week in this blog) while en route. Save learning your way around your new town for another time.When you are on your school visiting schedule, you are down to business! Should you wish to "see the location," the driver knows just where to look for Main Street/High Street, leafy neighbourhoods,shops, et al.
While I do not get a commission from any driver, I have suggestions for London (do email me)and New York (area) and have found Boston Coach to be reliable over the years in the later. Make sure, when booking the driver that he or she is happy to discuss neighbourhoods with you, and best school driving routes at eight am in the morning- they have some very helpful insights!
Do make sure you have telephoned the schools before boarding the plane, to confirm your appointments and have a named person to meet at each school. You will have, of course, checked out school websites and any possible facebook info. Do not rely on this sort of social media as gospel for what actually happens at a school, but do use it to formulate your questions when on the school tour.
Secondly, I strongly recommend you splash out for a car driver. This may sound extravagant, but bear with me.This is no time to be late for school visits simply because you do not know your way around upper Manhattan or Fairfield County. Principals/Headmistresses have cleared a space for you on their time table and it is seriously not a good idea to be late in most school cultures. Having a driver can free you up to call ahead to the school (again, confirming that you are actually on the way) and to discuss education issues with someone on your support team (next week in this blog) while en route. Save learning your way around your new town for another time.When you are on your school visiting schedule, you are down to business! Should you wish to "see the location," the driver knows just where to look for Main Street/High Street, leafy neighbourhoods,shops, et al.
While I do not get a commission from any driver, I have suggestions for London (do email me)and New York (area) and have found Boston Coach to be reliable over the years in the later. Make sure, when booking the driver that he or she is happy to discuss neighbourhoods with you, and best school driving routes at eight am in the morning- they have some very helpful insights!
Friday, 20 May 2011
Research Trip for Relocation
We are about to welcome the young couple who will be staying in our home while we head to the states for six months, as it's that time of year again when we switch countries. I was thinking how easy this transition is now, compared to earlier days. How lovely it is to just pick up the phone and have a friend meet us at the Tampa airport. We catch up on local news (who gossips?!) while driving across the Skyline Bridge and I am eager to once again get my toes into the Gulf of Mexico.
But it hasn't always been such a smooth transition. When you change countries with children, your focus is more on "How will they settle into the new school?" What do we do if the baby gets an earache on the flight? What if my teenager finds the transition a real pain?"
This is where a research trip several months ahead of the actual relocation is envaluable. Over the next several days I am going to write about what makes a successful research trip, especially when you are doing this as a single mother. The reason I am focusing on single mothers is that even when you are married, most overseas assignments are still male (see link for stats)and often the mum/mom does the research on her own.As one vetran of multiple corporate moves said to me, "When it comes to the research trip, I always feel like a single mother. OK, a single mother with a great paycheck." With corporate relocation packages not being at their best these days, I will focus on a more "doing it yourself" budget variety. Though I continue to write mostly about relocation between the UK and USA, it is my hope that the principles will aplly to other regions of the world....I always have my parents relocation to South Korea in mind!(And believe me, there was no beforehand trip.) Enjoy the prep. It's part of the journey....now, today I am back to shoving things in the attic!
But it hasn't always been such a smooth transition. When you change countries with children, your focus is more on "How will they settle into the new school?" What do we do if the baby gets an earache on the flight? What if my teenager finds the transition a real pain?"
This is where a research trip several months ahead of the actual relocation is envaluable. Over the next several days I am going to write about what makes a successful research trip, especially when you are doing this as a single mother. The reason I am focusing on single mothers is that even when you are married, most overseas assignments are still male (see link for stats)and often the mum/mom does the research on her own.As one vetran of multiple corporate moves said to me, "When it comes to the research trip, I always feel like a single mother. OK, a single mother with a great paycheck." With corporate relocation packages not being at their best these days, I will focus on a more "doing it yourself" budget variety. Though I continue to write mostly about relocation between the UK and USA, it is my hope that the principles will aplly to other regions of the world....I always have my parents relocation to South Korea in mind!(And believe me, there was no beforehand trip.) Enjoy the prep. It's part of the journey....now, today I am back to shoving things in the attic!
Thursday, 31 March 2011
English Mother's Day
We're back in Surrey, England and looking forward to my daughter and son in law coming down from London to celebrate English Mother's Day; or Mothering Sunday, as they call it in the UK. The stores are packed with cards and flowers and gifts to give "mum." Even the post office had a lovely gift card, where you could load up a bit of money for your mum to spend at a variety of local shops.
I continue to give thanks for being able to be a mum/mom. Father God was and is so good to me!
So we go from celebrating Italian Father's Day Saturday before last, to English Mother's Day which may be a whole-weekend event. My daughter and I plan to take Saturday morning and enjoy a "facial" at Neal's Yard (a branch of the famous London natural skin-care shop) and then shop for some up-coming weddings of family and friends.
Then, in the late afternoon there are several music concerts; and though I am not sure they are in honour of Mother's Day, this mom is looking forward to going! One concert features rock- gospel. There is a whisper that this group which will be singing at Holy Trinity Church in Guildford on Saturday, may be tipped to be part of the Olympics Opening Ceremony. As my husband's oldest son is singing, we just might be able to say we will have someone in the family who is in the UK Olympics!
That evening a step-daughter in law will be singing English Cathedral Music at a church in Fleet, so we will head on to concert number two of the day after a quick Chinese dinner take away. Cathedral music doesn't seem to be much in demand for the Olympic concerts, but I am looking forward to quiet moments soaking in this historic musical tradition. I love Saturday nights when music prepares hearts and minds for Sunday worship.
I continue to give thanks for being able to be a mum/mom. Father God was and is so good to me!
So we go from celebrating Italian Father's Day Saturday before last, to English Mother's Day which may be a whole-weekend event. My daughter and I plan to take Saturday morning and enjoy a "facial" at Neal's Yard (a branch of the famous London natural skin-care shop) and then shop for some up-coming weddings of family and friends.
Then, in the late afternoon there are several music concerts; and though I am not sure they are in honour of Mother's Day, this mom is looking forward to going! One concert features rock- gospel. There is a whisper that this group which will be singing at Holy Trinity Church in Guildford on Saturday, may be tipped to be part of the Olympics Opening Ceremony. As my husband's oldest son is singing, we just might be able to say we will have someone in the family who is in the UK Olympics!
That evening a step-daughter in law will be singing English Cathedral Music at a church in Fleet, so we will head on to concert number two of the day after a quick Chinese dinner take away. Cathedral music doesn't seem to be much in demand for the Olympic concerts, but I am looking forward to quiet moments soaking in this historic musical tradition. I love Saturday nights when music prepares hearts and minds for Sunday worship.
Monday, 21 March 2011
Day Out in Italy
Jo Parfitt's father wrote a book called "Global Grandparents" and it suggests than when you are visiting your children overseas it is a good idea to take a day or two and go out somewhere on your own. Leave the kids in peace! Give them a break!
So, today my husband and I decided we would brave the Italian traffic and head a hundred miles down the road to the seaside town of Pescara. The head office of my publisher, Destiny Image Europe has their office there and we were able to meet up with the lovely and welcoming Destiny Image Europe Team. For two hours we talked over my next book, as well as promotion work for my first book, "Parents on the Move!" Then we went to lunch together, and that is where I saw the greatest little idea for helping young families as they gather their lunch at a cafeteria. I will post a photo of this "Family Tray Carrier" as I call it when we get back to the UK and I can load up the photo.It may not be earth shaking, but I love simple technology that makes life for young moms and dads as simple as possible. Apparently those of you who have visited IKEA stores will have seen this little device but it is available generally throughout Italy.
Back "home", my step-daughter and I made a last minute run to the store to get my English son in law's birthday present;which of course will remain secret, but I have to say I am pleased that the home designer G..... has their home in this Marche' region of Italy. There are twenty one regions of Italy and this one is the home of G....and shoes- lots of Outlets!
We are now packing and preparing to get all we can into the one carry on bag allowed on Ryan Air and head back to the UK in the morning. Granddad is reading bedtime stories now and we prepare to say goodbye to Baby D. While global grandparenting has it's blessings, it is always hard to say goodbye.
So, today my husband and I decided we would brave the Italian traffic and head a hundred miles down the road to the seaside town of Pescara. The head office of my publisher, Destiny Image Europe has their office there and we were able to meet up with the lovely and welcoming Destiny Image Europe Team. For two hours we talked over my next book, as well as promotion work for my first book, "Parents on the Move!" Then we went to lunch together, and that is where I saw the greatest little idea for helping young families as they gather their lunch at a cafeteria. I will post a photo of this "Family Tray Carrier" as I call it when we get back to the UK and I can load up the photo.It may not be earth shaking, but I love simple technology that makes life for young moms and dads as simple as possible. Apparently those of you who have visited IKEA stores will have seen this little device but it is available generally throughout Italy.
Back "home", my step-daughter and I made a last minute run to the store to get my English son in law's birthday present;which of course will remain secret, but I have to say I am pleased that the home designer G..... has their home in this Marche' region of Italy. There are twenty one regions of Italy and this one is the home of G....and shoes- lots of Outlets!
We are now packing and preparing to get all we can into the one carry on bag allowed on Ryan Air and head back to the UK in the morning. Granddad is reading bedtime stories now and we prepare to say goodbye to Baby D. While global grandparenting has it's blessings, it is always hard to say goodbye.
Saturday, 19 March 2011
Italian Father's Day
Father's Day is today, a Saturday in Italy, so we are heading out tonight to a local pizza place to enjoy two generaions of fathers and give thanks for all they do for our family.
For me, Saturday mornings are always special. It's my time to recharge batteries, a type of Sabbath rest that doesn't happen when rushing to church on a Sunday. This Saturday we are with my husband's daughter and her young family in the Le Marche area on the Adriatic. Papa G (ie the son in law)woke up (from a sleepless night with baby D)to a sign on Baby D's chalkboard saying "Happy Father's Day, " and a note on his screen saver. Later in the morning my husband had some father-daughter time as they took Baby D to his weekly swimming lessons in the only learner pool for miles around.
I just basqued in the sun on the terrace. Some Saturdays I love time to myself, sometimes a special lesurily moment with my husband or a very long telephone chat with my sister. As part of this Italian version of my Saturday morning ritual I was enjoying a good book, but I was missing my very large black coffee. Then the idea came to me. I made the usual Italian expresso on the stovetop in one of those iconic Italian designed coffee makers, and poured it into an American sized mug, added hot water and presto...I had the Saturday morning coffee all set. Back on the balcony reading and giving thanks for the fathers in our family...
For me, Saturday mornings are always special. It's my time to recharge batteries, a type of Sabbath rest that doesn't happen when rushing to church on a Sunday. This Saturday we are with my husband's daughter and her young family in the Le Marche area on the Adriatic. Papa G (ie the son in law)woke up (from a sleepless night with baby D)to a sign on Baby D's chalkboard saying "Happy Father's Day, " and a note on his screen saver. Later in the morning my husband had some father-daughter time as they took Baby D to his weekly swimming lessons in the only learner pool for miles around.
I just basqued in the sun on the terrace. Some Saturdays I love time to myself, sometimes a special lesurily moment with my husband or a very long telephone chat with my sister. As part of this Italian version of my Saturday morning ritual I was enjoying a good book, but I was missing my very large black coffee. Then the idea came to me. I made the usual Italian expresso on the stovetop in one of those iconic Italian designed coffee makers, and poured it into an American sized mug, added hot water and presto...I had the Saturday morning coffee all set. Back on the balcony reading and giving thanks for the fathers in our family...
Friday, 18 March 2011
Friday in St'Elpidio
Sunny day, but cool and the granparents (that's us) decded to go on one our walks with Baby D. Grandad did the technology (ie unflurrled this generation's complicated stoller/pushchair/passeggino) and I secured the hat. Off we went to see the small Friday market (Saturday is the bigger market in a nearby town)...and who did we run into but Italian grandma- or "Nona" as they say in these parts!
It makes you feel very much at home to run into someone you know in the market. After hugs and kisses (both sides of the cheeks) we then went on our way past kitchen items, fruit and veg and beautful blouses and teenage t-shirts and jeans. I can say "hello" with a good enough accent to get myself in trouble...vendors then come out with a whole string of incomprehensible words! I must say Italian men know how to make an older woman feel apreciated! Nothing lewd or menacing, just friendly and welcoming. What a treat!
We are back home and have had a big family lunch wth birthday cake for Chris's daughter...they made it together last night and I took photos. We may just have to YouTube some of my husband's good cooking methods. Yesterday was quite a baking day...birthday cake, then hot cross buns, then bread which was consumed in minutes. Food is such a part of family life here, and it is lovely to have some time to make, bake and enjoy!
There is quite a challenge when writing about this though....the computer keyboard is in yet another layout (ie not American and not English layout)and though the layout of the google checkin page is thankfully the same I am still guessings at the translation! Google Italia was all decorated for the 150th Republic anniversary yesterday!
It makes you feel very much at home to run into someone you know in the market. After hugs and kisses (both sides of the cheeks) we then went on our way past kitchen items, fruit and veg and beautful blouses and teenage t-shirts and jeans. I can say "hello" with a good enough accent to get myself in trouble...vendors then come out with a whole string of incomprehensible words! I must say Italian men know how to make an older woman feel apreciated! Nothing lewd or menacing, just friendly and welcoming. What a treat!
We are back home and have had a big family lunch wth birthday cake for Chris's daughter...they made it together last night and I took photos. We may just have to YouTube some of my husband's good cooking methods. Yesterday was quite a baking day...birthday cake, then hot cross buns, then bread which was consumed in minutes. Food is such a part of family life here, and it is lovely to have some time to make, bake and enjoy!
There is quite a challenge when writing about this though....the computer keyboard is in yet another layout (ie not American and not English layout)and though the layout of the google checkin page is thankfully the same I am still guessings at the translation! Google Italia was all decorated for the 150th Republic anniversary yesterday!
Thursday, 17 March 2011
Italian Flag Day
It's a little sunnier today in Italy, though a cool wind blows on the beach. The waves were a bit rough, but we were there to do a family walk and to assist Baby D with sandcastles. On the drive down the hill from Sant'Elpidio to the "Mare" we saw flags hanging from balconies and quite a number of shops shut.
Today marks the 150th year of Italy being a republic and it is a national holiday. Road repairmen were working and the grocery store was open, but many people seem to be taking this one-off holiday as a day-off. Italians usually celebrate a national day in the summer, but this is a special day given as a no-work day in honour of the one hundred and fifty years of a unified country.
We are back up the hill now, and our exhausted sandcastle builder is sleeping while his parents and grandparents start the first BBQ of the year on the terrace- summer is coming!
When we stood on the beach earlier today, we eyed the waves and talked about the Tsunami in Japan. One of the expats here has a son who is married to a Japanese lady. Like many in the world, families have been grateful this week for skype and facebook and mobile/cell phones. When my sister and I spoke earlier this week, we remembered that it took two weeks for our mother to hear that her sister, brother in law and our cousin were alive after the huge earthquake in Chili in 1960. Today, I think of and pray for families who would love a day off to connect and build sandcastles.
Today marks the 150th year of Italy being a republic and it is a national holiday. Road repairmen were working and the grocery store was open, but many people seem to be taking this one-off holiday as a day-off. Italians usually celebrate a national day in the summer, but this is a special day given as a no-work day in honour of the one hundred and fifty years of a unified country.
We are back up the hill now, and our exhausted sandcastle builder is sleeping while his parents and grandparents start the first BBQ of the year on the terrace- summer is coming!
When we stood on the beach earlier today, we eyed the waves and talked about the Tsunami in Japan. One of the expats here has a son who is married to a Japanese lady. Like many in the world, families have been grateful this week for skype and facebook and mobile/cell phones. When my sister and I spoke earlier this week, we remembered that it took two weeks for our mother to hear that her sister, brother in law and our cousin were alive after the huge earthquake in Chili in 1960. Today, I think of and pray for families who would love a day off to connect and build sandcastles.
Wednesday, 16 March 2011
Grandparents on the Move!
We are back in Italy and enjoying being grandparents "up close" for a week. We try to visit twice a year and in between times, enjoy seeng the newest addition to our family on skype. This year, Baby D (now one and a half) met us at the airport with his parents; but after the long ride home he went straight to the compter and kept pointing- we were supposed to be on skype! And here we were- alive in person!
I just love the fact that he made the connection!
We flew Ryan Air down from Standsted airport yesterday and noted they are no longer just "handing out" little plastic bags for liquids. Now there is a vending machne where, for a pound ($1.62)- and you do need the proper coin- you can purchase a small platic baggie for your toothpaste etc. I've started stuffing our roll on- carry on bag (one per person), with zip lock bags from the supermarket.
We're looking forward to this week of pushcahir/stroller/passeggino walks into the ancient part of this hillside village and collectng Baby D from his nursery group one or two afternoons.....and I've got the baggies at the ready - just incase. You never know, somewhere in my parenting days I know I used them for more than just airline security!
I just love the fact that he made the connection!
We flew Ryan Air down from Standsted airport yesterday and noted they are no longer just "handing out" little plastic bags for liquids. Now there is a vending machne where, for a pound ($1.62)- and you do need the proper coin- you can purchase a small platic baggie for your toothpaste etc. I've started stuffing our roll on- carry on bag (one per person), with zip lock bags from the supermarket.
We're looking forward to this week of pushcahir/stroller/passeggino walks into the ancient part of this hillside village and collectng Baby D from his nursery group one or two afternoons.....and I've got the baggies at the ready - just incase. You never know, somewhere in my parenting days I know I used them for more than just airline security!
Friday, 17 December 2010
Christmas 2010
Christmas Greetings!
Last night our English church gathered for carol singing, going past homes in the village and straight to the pub on the cold and wintery night. We sang our hearts out and truely enjoyed "In the Bleak Mid-Winter" and "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen," as we passed out song sheets to all gathered in this most English of settings. We got everyone, including the policeman who stopped by, singing!
The publican produced mulled wine and mince pies and thanked us for accepting his invitation to get the locals into the true Christmas spirit. The thanks was all ours; especially as between songs and sips and spicy bites we had prayer requests that truely touched our hearts. Today we pray, knowing we do not have all the answers but we know the presence of the Holy Spirit changes things and gives us more than a song.
I am starting up this blog again, and am not ready to speak about the loss of my mother this year but am giving thanks for the years she placed surprises under the home-decorated tree.I look forward to the good things Our Father has for a heart that holds on. Happy Advent everyone!
Last night our English church gathered for carol singing, going past homes in the village and straight to the pub on the cold and wintery night. We sang our hearts out and truely enjoyed "In the Bleak Mid-Winter" and "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen," as we passed out song sheets to all gathered in this most English of settings. We got everyone, including the policeman who stopped by, singing!
The publican produced mulled wine and mince pies and thanked us for accepting his invitation to get the locals into the true Christmas spirit. The thanks was all ours; especially as between songs and sips and spicy bites we had prayer requests that truely touched our hearts. Today we pray, knowing we do not have all the answers but we know the presence of the Holy Spirit changes things and gives us more than a song.
I am starting up this blog again, and am not ready to speak about the loss of my mother this year but am giving thanks for the years she placed surprises under the home-decorated tree.I look forward to the good things Our Father has for a heart that holds on. Happy Advent everyone!
Wednesday, 22 September 2010
Mom on a final journey
Many apologies for not writing for days on end. This summer I stayed in Florida while I my husband went back to the UK and Italy to see the kids and grandchildren. I stayed to help look after mom. It was a quick learning curve regarding the US medical system, and it was and is a privelege to spend these final days with my eighty nine year old mother.
I will write more later, but I wanted to take a moment to thank everyone who has sent us greetings and kept my family and that of my brother and sister in their prayers. We give thanks especially for the Hospice team here in Venice, Florida! And for my husband's safe return to the states!
love and blessings, Kathleen
I will write more later, but I wanted to take a moment to thank everyone who has sent us greetings and kept my family and that of my brother and sister in their prayers. We give thanks especially for the Hospice team here in Venice, Florida! And for my husband's safe return to the states!
love and blessings, Kathleen
Wednesday, 14 July 2010
Dr Myles Munroe
"If you are an eagle, you aren't going to fly with everyone else! You will not be found among the pigeons!" Dr Myles Munroe made us laugh and made us think these past two evenings at Faith Tabernacle Christian Center in St Paul, North Carolina.
"Where!?" you might ask. Even Dr Munroe wasn't sure where he was! "Somebody must have prayed!" he said as he let us know that where we were in the back woods of North Carolina was not on his schedule. But here he was. And he loved it! He loved the local food, and getting to know the people and their needs for reaching their God give potential.
He said the cemetary was the richest place on earth....there you can find so many unfilled dreams. Books that were meant to be written, but the people died. Songs that were meant to be sung, poetry that God had planted in hearts and minds, day care centers that had not been built, schools that had not had teachers...so many dreams had gone to the grave. He challenged us to know the dream that was in us, planted by the Lord from the beginning of time.
"Where!?" you might ask. Even Dr Munroe wasn't sure where he was! "Somebody must have prayed!" he said as he let us know that where we were in the back woods of North Carolina was not on his schedule. But here he was. And he loved it! He loved the local food, and getting to know the people and their needs for reaching their God give potential.
He said the cemetary was the richest place on earth....there you can find so many unfilled dreams. Books that were meant to be written, but the people died. Songs that were meant to be sung, poetry that God had planted in hearts and minds, day care centers that had not been built, schools that had not had teachers...so many dreams had gone to the grave. He challenged us to know the dream that was in us, planted by the Lord from the beginning of time.
Monday, 12 July 2010
Fire flies!
Last night I was sitting out in the late evening with my mother and my sister. We had just had a summer feast of catfist, corn on the cob (sesoned with Old Bay) and delicious watermelon. Mom told us about her grandfather, and how he had been a watermelon farmer. We enjoyed a little breeze while sitting under the tall Carolina pines, and hearing the stories on this hot night.
We recalled sitting on my grandparents porch in Charolotte, and running around with other kids we knew while the "old folks" talked the hours away into the dark, hot night. Then it dawned on me, we used to catch lightening bugs! Where the lightening bugs these days?
Some people call lightening bugs, fire flies, but what ever you call or called them when you were young, we used to catch them in a jar and then watch them light up in the night. We always asked our parents if we could sit the jar next to our bed, so we could watch them light up when the lights were out. Mom would insist we poke holes in the jar lid so we didn't kill the creatures, and some time long after hot little children had fallen asleep all the mothers I knew, including mine, would sneak in the bedroom and take the jars out the backdoor. The fire flies were released into freedom.
We recalled sitting on my grandparents porch in Charolotte, and running around with other kids we knew while the "old folks" talked the hours away into the dark, hot night. Then it dawned on me, we used to catch lightening bugs! Where the lightening bugs these days?
Some people call lightening bugs, fire flies, but what ever you call or called them when you were young, we used to catch them in a jar and then watch them light up in the night. We always asked our parents if we could sit the jar next to our bed, so we could watch them light up when the lights were out. Mom would insist we poke holes in the jar lid so we didn't kill the creatures, and some time long after hot little children had fallen asleep all the mothers I knew, including mine, would sneak in the bedroom and take the jars out the backdoor. The fire flies were released into freedom.
Sunday, 4 July 2010
4th of July
This is the first Fourth of July I have experienced in the USA in years! This "Involuntary Re-entry" is full of surprises, and one of them is the blessing that I can spend this time with my sister, brother and 89 year old mother.
It is interesteing to hear them reminise about "Fourths gone by" and of all the family gatherings I have missed. My mom talks about how she and dad celebrated this day while in Korea, and I share stories of make-shift celebrations in the UK, as well as British vs American basketball games in Jamaica. My brother talks of the wonderful fireworks in Washington, DC where he works as an archivist at the National Archives.
My sister looks at all of us, on this her favourite holiday of the entire year and shakes her head. She wishes she had a family who knew how to get on a plane and just come home for these festivities.
This morning at church we sang, "God Bless America" and said the pledge of Allegence. It brought tears to my eyes to be able to sing these songs and say these words, but I was SO grateful they were on the screen above. It had been so long, I wasn't sure I remembered. No one seemed terribly patriotic, as I had remembered they had once been; most people seemed concerned that America was losing it's way and much in need of prayer.
One of the local ladies I have recently come to know said, "My kids went to the beach today and asked me to join them. I said 'no, my country is in trouble. Time to go to church to pray." Amen.
It is interesteing to hear them reminise about "Fourths gone by" and of all the family gatherings I have missed. My mom talks about how she and dad celebrated this day while in Korea, and I share stories of make-shift celebrations in the UK, as well as British vs American basketball games in Jamaica. My brother talks of the wonderful fireworks in Washington, DC where he works as an archivist at the National Archives.
My sister looks at all of us, on this her favourite holiday of the entire year and shakes her head. She wishes she had a family who knew how to get on a plane and just come home for these festivities.
This morning at church we sang, "God Bless America" and said the pledge of Allegence. It brought tears to my eyes to be able to sing these songs and say these words, but I was SO grateful they were on the screen above. It had been so long, I wasn't sure I remembered. No one seemed terribly patriotic, as I had remembered they had once been; most people seemed concerned that America was losing it's way and much in need of prayer.
One of the local ladies I have recently come to know said, "My kids went to the beach today and asked me to join them. I said 'no, my country is in trouble. Time to go to church to pray." Amen.
Saturday, 19 June 2010
Caring Bridge
A year ago a friend in California emailed me about a young mother who had a terrible bicycle accident. I had suffered a similar though not as serious bicycle accident near my home, while riding in the countryside of England. My friend thought I would understand the trauma of what had happened and asked that I pray for this young woman, and her family. I readily agreed, but what made this a most unusual prayer request was the way the husband of the young woman would keep all those conserned about his wife up to date with her amazing progress. He used a growing website community called Caring Bridge.
Caring Bridge (ww.caringbridge.com) enables family members to post daily journal entries for a loved one recovering from cancer, or the progress of a premature baby, or simply share stories of a relative battling for their health. It is a great way to let family and friends around the world know what is going on when you are caring for someone and do not have the time to send multiple emails or answer every voice mail message. When your primary concern is caring for a loved one, yet others want to ask "how is it going?" Caring Bridge is a great resource-and it is free!
With all that is going on with my mother in her final stage of illness, I have turned to Caring Bridge to let family and friends in mulitple locations know "just how mom is doing today." It took only minutes to start the site yesterday and I was able to set the confidentiality level (ie who has access to information)that is right for our family. We've had calls from Liberia, and Hong Kong and visits from friends from Taiwan and South Korea as well as Texas and Washington,DC and each one has said, "Let us know how she does. Keep us informed." We can do this with Caring Bridge.
Caring Bridge (ww.caringbridge.com) enables family members to post daily journal entries for a loved one recovering from cancer, or the progress of a premature baby, or simply share stories of a relative battling for their health. It is a great way to let family and friends around the world know what is going on when you are caring for someone and do not have the time to send multiple emails or answer every voice mail message. When your primary concern is caring for a loved one, yet others want to ask "how is it going?" Caring Bridge is a great resource-and it is free!
With all that is going on with my mother in her final stage of illness, I have turned to Caring Bridge to let family and friends in mulitple locations know "just how mom is doing today." It took only minutes to start the site yesterday and I was able to set the confidentiality level (ie who has access to information)that is right for our family. We've had calls from Liberia, and Hong Kong and visits from friends from Taiwan and South Korea as well as Texas and Washington,DC and each one has said, "Let us know how she does. Keep us informed." We can do this with Caring Bridge.
Thursday, 17 June 2010
Involuntary Re-entry #2
It is a privelege to care for a parent in their last days; and my mother is no exception. We are having a God-given and very special time together. I am cherishing every moment...now that I have accepted that caring for her means total immersion into a culture I have only experienced from time to time, southern Bible-belted summers while growing up.
My sister has always loved North Carolina, our mother's home state and she lives nearby (I am here so that my sister can get back to work as director of a regional hospital in this area-she has put in long hours helping mom, and dad before he passed away).
I have always preferred my father's home state, Arkansas. Carolina ways are different, but I am learning and loving the beauty of this area. I am also realising that all her married life my mother lived in Washington,DC for my dad. She was home base while he travelled all over the world, and then they both took off for South Korea. And then they settled down at Baylor University while they lived and worked as missionaries to the international Baptist Student Mission. All those years, mom has longed for the carolina pine trees and the beaches of the shore islands. These are her last days...so the least I can do is support her in spending them exactly where she wants!
I see her friends and our extended family stopping by to see how she is doing. We get so many calls, and cards and love from even the pharmacy delivery man ("Love your momma. She is so sweet," he says and adds that it is "no trouble to deliver anythings she wants.") Everyone I have met so far tell me of how they loved my dad in the years they knew him, and how much my mother means to them. Even in the grocery store (now learning new American foods) someone stops me and says, "Are you Mzz M's daughter? So good you can be here for her at this time."
Yes, indeed. I am falling in love with Carolina!
My sister has always loved North Carolina, our mother's home state and she lives nearby (I am here so that my sister can get back to work as director of a regional hospital in this area-she has put in long hours helping mom, and dad before he passed away).
I have always preferred my father's home state, Arkansas. Carolina ways are different, but I am learning and loving the beauty of this area. I am also realising that all her married life my mother lived in Washington,DC for my dad. She was home base while he travelled all over the world, and then they both took off for South Korea. And then they settled down at Baylor University while they lived and worked as missionaries to the international Baptist Student Mission. All those years, mom has longed for the carolina pine trees and the beaches of the shore islands. These are her last days...so the least I can do is support her in spending them exactly where she wants!
I see her friends and our extended family stopping by to see how she is doing. We get so many calls, and cards and love from even the pharmacy delivery man ("Love your momma. She is so sweet," he says and adds that it is "no trouble to deliver anythings she wants.") Everyone I have met so far tell me of how they loved my dad in the years they knew him, and how much my mother means to them. Even in the grocery store (now learning new American foods) someone stops me and says, "Are you Mzz M's daughter? So good you can be here for her at this time."
Yes, indeed. I am falling in love with Carolina!
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