We are back in Italy and enjoying being grandparents "up close" for a week. We try to visit twice a year and in between times, enjoy seeng the newest addition to our family on skype. This year, Baby D (now one and a half) met us at the airport with his parents; but after the long ride home he went straight to the compter and kept pointing- we were supposed to be on skype! And here we were- alive in person!
I just love the fact that he made the connection!
We flew Ryan Air down from Standsted airport yesterday and noted they are no longer just "handing out" little plastic bags for liquids. Now there is a vending machne where, for a pound ($1.62)- and you do need the proper coin- you can purchase a small platic baggie for your toothpaste etc. I've started stuffing our roll on- carry on bag (one per person), with zip lock bags from the supermarket.
We're looking forward to this week of pushcahir/stroller/passeggino walks into the ancient part of this hillside village and collectng Baby D from his nursery group one or two afternoons.....and I've got the baggies at the ready - just incase. You never know, somewhere in my parenting days I know I used them for more than just airline security!
Wednesday, 16 March 2011
Friday, 17 December 2010
Christmas 2010
Christmas Greetings!
Last night our English church gathered for carol singing, going past homes in the village and straight to the pub on the cold and wintery night. We sang our hearts out and truely enjoyed "In the Bleak Mid-Winter" and "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen," as we passed out song sheets to all gathered in this most English of settings. We got everyone, including the policeman who stopped by, singing!
The publican produced mulled wine and mince pies and thanked us for accepting his invitation to get the locals into the true Christmas spirit. The thanks was all ours; especially as between songs and sips and spicy bites we had prayer requests that truely touched our hearts. Today we pray, knowing we do not have all the answers but we know the presence of the Holy Spirit changes things and gives us more than a song.
I am starting up this blog again, and am not ready to speak about the loss of my mother this year but am giving thanks for the years she placed surprises under the home-decorated tree.I look forward to the good things Our Father has for a heart that holds on. Happy Advent everyone!
Last night our English church gathered for carol singing, going past homes in the village and straight to the pub on the cold and wintery night. We sang our hearts out and truely enjoyed "In the Bleak Mid-Winter" and "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen," as we passed out song sheets to all gathered in this most English of settings. We got everyone, including the policeman who stopped by, singing!
The publican produced mulled wine and mince pies and thanked us for accepting his invitation to get the locals into the true Christmas spirit. The thanks was all ours; especially as between songs and sips and spicy bites we had prayer requests that truely touched our hearts. Today we pray, knowing we do not have all the answers but we know the presence of the Holy Spirit changes things and gives us more than a song.
I am starting up this blog again, and am not ready to speak about the loss of my mother this year but am giving thanks for the years she placed surprises under the home-decorated tree.I look forward to the good things Our Father has for a heart that holds on. Happy Advent everyone!
Wednesday, 22 September 2010
Mom on a final journey
Many apologies for not writing for days on end. This summer I stayed in Florida while I my husband went back to the UK and Italy to see the kids and grandchildren. I stayed to help look after mom. It was a quick learning curve regarding the US medical system, and it was and is a privelege to spend these final days with my eighty nine year old mother.
I will write more later, but I wanted to take a moment to thank everyone who has sent us greetings and kept my family and that of my brother and sister in their prayers. We give thanks especially for the Hospice team here in Venice, Florida! And for my husband's safe return to the states!
love and blessings, Kathleen
I will write more later, but I wanted to take a moment to thank everyone who has sent us greetings and kept my family and that of my brother and sister in their prayers. We give thanks especially for the Hospice team here in Venice, Florida! And for my husband's safe return to the states!
love and blessings, Kathleen
Wednesday, 14 July 2010
Dr Myles Munroe
"If you are an eagle, you aren't going to fly with everyone else! You will not be found among the pigeons!" Dr Myles Munroe made us laugh and made us think these past two evenings at Faith Tabernacle Christian Center in St Paul, North Carolina.
"Where!?" you might ask. Even Dr Munroe wasn't sure where he was! "Somebody must have prayed!" he said as he let us know that where we were in the back woods of North Carolina was not on his schedule. But here he was. And he loved it! He loved the local food, and getting to know the people and their needs for reaching their God give potential.
He said the cemetary was the richest place on earth....there you can find so many unfilled dreams. Books that were meant to be written, but the people died. Songs that were meant to be sung, poetry that God had planted in hearts and minds, day care centers that had not been built, schools that had not had teachers...so many dreams had gone to the grave. He challenged us to know the dream that was in us, planted by the Lord from the beginning of time.
"Where!?" you might ask. Even Dr Munroe wasn't sure where he was! "Somebody must have prayed!" he said as he let us know that where we were in the back woods of North Carolina was not on his schedule. But here he was. And he loved it! He loved the local food, and getting to know the people and their needs for reaching their God give potential.
He said the cemetary was the richest place on earth....there you can find so many unfilled dreams. Books that were meant to be written, but the people died. Songs that were meant to be sung, poetry that God had planted in hearts and minds, day care centers that had not been built, schools that had not had teachers...so many dreams had gone to the grave. He challenged us to know the dream that was in us, planted by the Lord from the beginning of time.
Monday, 12 July 2010
Fire flies!
Last night I was sitting out in the late evening with my mother and my sister. We had just had a summer feast of catfist, corn on the cob (sesoned with Old Bay) and delicious watermelon. Mom told us about her grandfather, and how he had been a watermelon farmer. We enjoyed a little breeze while sitting under the tall Carolina pines, and hearing the stories on this hot night.
We recalled sitting on my grandparents porch in Charolotte, and running around with other kids we knew while the "old folks" talked the hours away into the dark, hot night. Then it dawned on me, we used to catch lightening bugs! Where the lightening bugs these days?
Some people call lightening bugs, fire flies, but what ever you call or called them when you were young, we used to catch them in a jar and then watch them light up in the night. We always asked our parents if we could sit the jar next to our bed, so we could watch them light up when the lights were out. Mom would insist we poke holes in the jar lid so we didn't kill the creatures, and some time long after hot little children had fallen asleep all the mothers I knew, including mine, would sneak in the bedroom and take the jars out the backdoor. The fire flies were released into freedom.
We recalled sitting on my grandparents porch in Charolotte, and running around with other kids we knew while the "old folks" talked the hours away into the dark, hot night. Then it dawned on me, we used to catch lightening bugs! Where the lightening bugs these days?
Some people call lightening bugs, fire flies, but what ever you call or called them when you were young, we used to catch them in a jar and then watch them light up in the night. We always asked our parents if we could sit the jar next to our bed, so we could watch them light up when the lights were out. Mom would insist we poke holes in the jar lid so we didn't kill the creatures, and some time long after hot little children had fallen asleep all the mothers I knew, including mine, would sneak in the bedroom and take the jars out the backdoor. The fire flies were released into freedom.
Sunday, 4 July 2010
4th of July
This is the first Fourth of July I have experienced in the USA in years! This "Involuntary Re-entry" is full of surprises, and one of them is the blessing that I can spend this time with my sister, brother and 89 year old mother.
It is interesteing to hear them reminise about "Fourths gone by" and of all the family gatherings I have missed. My mom talks about how she and dad celebrated this day while in Korea, and I share stories of make-shift celebrations in the UK, as well as British vs American basketball games in Jamaica. My brother talks of the wonderful fireworks in Washington, DC where he works as an archivist at the National Archives.
My sister looks at all of us, on this her favourite holiday of the entire year and shakes her head. She wishes she had a family who knew how to get on a plane and just come home for these festivities.
This morning at church we sang, "God Bless America" and said the pledge of Allegence. It brought tears to my eyes to be able to sing these songs and say these words, but I was SO grateful they were on the screen above. It had been so long, I wasn't sure I remembered. No one seemed terribly patriotic, as I had remembered they had once been; most people seemed concerned that America was losing it's way and much in need of prayer.
One of the local ladies I have recently come to know said, "My kids went to the beach today and asked me to join them. I said 'no, my country is in trouble. Time to go to church to pray." Amen.
It is interesteing to hear them reminise about "Fourths gone by" and of all the family gatherings I have missed. My mom talks about how she and dad celebrated this day while in Korea, and I share stories of make-shift celebrations in the UK, as well as British vs American basketball games in Jamaica. My brother talks of the wonderful fireworks in Washington, DC where he works as an archivist at the National Archives.
My sister looks at all of us, on this her favourite holiday of the entire year and shakes her head. She wishes she had a family who knew how to get on a plane and just come home for these festivities.
This morning at church we sang, "God Bless America" and said the pledge of Allegence. It brought tears to my eyes to be able to sing these songs and say these words, but I was SO grateful they were on the screen above. It had been so long, I wasn't sure I remembered. No one seemed terribly patriotic, as I had remembered they had once been; most people seemed concerned that America was losing it's way and much in need of prayer.
One of the local ladies I have recently come to know said, "My kids went to the beach today and asked me to join them. I said 'no, my country is in trouble. Time to go to church to pray." Amen.
Saturday, 19 June 2010
Caring Bridge
A year ago a friend in California emailed me about a young mother who had a terrible bicycle accident. I had suffered a similar though not as serious bicycle accident near my home, while riding in the countryside of England. My friend thought I would understand the trauma of what had happened and asked that I pray for this young woman, and her family. I readily agreed, but what made this a most unusual prayer request was the way the husband of the young woman would keep all those conserned about his wife up to date with her amazing progress. He used a growing website community called Caring Bridge.
Caring Bridge (ww.caringbridge.com) enables family members to post daily journal entries for a loved one recovering from cancer, or the progress of a premature baby, or simply share stories of a relative battling for their health. It is a great way to let family and friends around the world know what is going on when you are caring for someone and do not have the time to send multiple emails or answer every voice mail message. When your primary concern is caring for a loved one, yet others want to ask "how is it going?" Caring Bridge is a great resource-and it is free!
With all that is going on with my mother in her final stage of illness, I have turned to Caring Bridge to let family and friends in mulitple locations know "just how mom is doing today." It took only minutes to start the site yesterday and I was able to set the confidentiality level (ie who has access to information)that is right for our family. We've had calls from Liberia, and Hong Kong and visits from friends from Taiwan and South Korea as well as Texas and Washington,DC and each one has said, "Let us know how she does. Keep us informed." We can do this with Caring Bridge.
Caring Bridge (ww.caringbridge.com) enables family members to post daily journal entries for a loved one recovering from cancer, or the progress of a premature baby, or simply share stories of a relative battling for their health. It is a great way to let family and friends around the world know what is going on when you are caring for someone and do not have the time to send multiple emails or answer every voice mail message. When your primary concern is caring for a loved one, yet others want to ask "how is it going?" Caring Bridge is a great resource-and it is free!
With all that is going on with my mother in her final stage of illness, I have turned to Caring Bridge to let family and friends in mulitple locations know "just how mom is doing today." It took only minutes to start the site yesterday and I was able to set the confidentiality level (ie who has access to information)that is right for our family. We've had calls from Liberia, and Hong Kong and visits from friends from Taiwan and South Korea as well as Texas and Washington,DC and each one has said, "Let us know how she does. Keep us informed." We can do this with Caring Bridge.
Thursday, 17 June 2010
Involuntary Re-entry #2
It is a privelege to care for a parent in their last days; and my mother is no exception. We are having a God-given and very special time together. I am cherishing every moment...now that I have accepted that caring for her means total immersion into a culture I have only experienced from time to time, southern Bible-belted summers while growing up.
My sister has always loved North Carolina, our mother's home state and she lives nearby (I am here so that my sister can get back to work as director of a regional hospital in this area-she has put in long hours helping mom, and dad before he passed away).
I have always preferred my father's home state, Arkansas. Carolina ways are different, but I am learning and loving the beauty of this area. I am also realising that all her married life my mother lived in Washington,DC for my dad. She was home base while he travelled all over the world, and then they both took off for South Korea. And then they settled down at Baylor University while they lived and worked as missionaries to the international Baptist Student Mission. All those years, mom has longed for the carolina pine trees and the beaches of the shore islands. These are her last days...so the least I can do is support her in spending them exactly where she wants!
I see her friends and our extended family stopping by to see how she is doing. We get so many calls, and cards and love from even the pharmacy delivery man ("Love your momma. She is so sweet," he says and adds that it is "no trouble to deliver anythings she wants.") Everyone I have met so far tell me of how they loved my dad in the years they knew him, and how much my mother means to them. Even in the grocery store (now learning new American foods) someone stops me and says, "Are you Mzz M's daughter? So good you can be here for her at this time."
Yes, indeed. I am falling in love with Carolina!
My sister has always loved North Carolina, our mother's home state and she lives nearby (I am here so that my sister can get back to work as director of a regional hospital in this area-she has put in long hours helping mom, and dad before he passed away).
I have always preferred my father's home state, Arkansas. Carolina ways are different, but I am learning and loving the beauty of this area. I am also realising that all her married life my mother lived in Washington,DC for my dad. She was home base while he travelled all over the world, and then they both took off for South Korea. And then they settled down at Baylor University while they lived and worked as missionaries to the international Baptist Student Mission. All those years, mom has longed for the carolina pine trees and the beaches of the shore islands. These are her last days...so the least I can do is support her in spending them exactly where she wants!
I see her friends and our extended family stopping by to see how she is doing. We get so many calls, and cards and love from even the pharmacy delivery man ("Love your momma. She is so sweet," he says and adds that it is "no trouble to deliver anythings she wants.") Everyone I have met so far tell me of how they loved my dad in the years they knew him, and how much my mother means to them. Even in the grocery store (now learning new American foods) someone stops me and says, "Are you Mzz M's daughter? So good you can be here for her at this time."
Yes, indeed. I am falling in love with Carolina!
Wednesday, 16 June 2010
Involuntary Re-entry
How many of you have ever relocated "back home" when it was not your desire to move? You find yourself in your country of origin and you are not ready to come home?
I have never lived in North Carolina, and this temporary move is a most unusual re-entry. It is re-entry to my mother's state! If you have read my book, "Parents on the Move!" you will recall that my parents, deep south southern Americans, raised us kids in Washington, DC. It was southern as country ham and biscuits inside our home, but northern territory once you stepped out the door. I started early, going from culture to culture within a single day.
My mother has chosen to spend her final days back on Carolina home ground where she was born, and I have "come home" to look after her. I am on a sharp learning curve, indeed. These days I am much more at home in Manhattan or London, yet am doing all I can to care for her and do this re-entry "stuff" so that I can be of help to all the family. When the plane landed in the Carolina hills, so many people said "welcome home" but I can't even find my way around a grocery store!
I have never lived in North Carolina, and this temporary move is a most unusual re-entry. It is re-entry to my mother's state! If you have read my book, "Parents on the Move!" you will recall that my parents, deep south southern Americans, raised us kids in Washington, DC. It was southern as country ham and biscuits inside our home, but northern territory once you stepped out the door. I started early, going from culture to culture within a single day.
My mother has chosen to spend her final days back on Carolina home ground where she was born, and I have "come home" to look after her. I am on a sharp learning curve, indeed. These days I am much more at home in Manhattan or London, yet am doing all I can to care for her and do this re-entry "stuff" so that I can be of help to all the family. When the plane landed in the Carolina hills, so many people said "welcome home" but I can't even find my way around a grocery store!
Thursday, 10 June 2010
Priorities No 2
If you read yeseterday's blog you will understand that the first thing I did today(after the first part of the "morning routine" that I do for mom) was to head to the nurse's station and weigh myself. As a result, I am thinking through MY priorities as a caregiver!
No 1 Healthy eating
I am telling mom how much I appreciate all the food,restaurants etc but I am going to take care in what I eat. Simple? Just have a southern mother and see how YOU do!
No 2 Exercise
This priority may be on my prayer list more than in reality, but I AM going to try to walk a half hour a day! There is a good walking path nearby. If you have read my book, "Parent's on the Move!" you will know that one of the things I try to do when I change location is find a "walk" and a walking partner.
No 3 Quiet Time
Maybe not a set time at the moment, but if I have my Bible handy I can take the moments that come, and practice the Brother Lawrence style of praying while "in the kitchen."
No 4 Writing
Next week my mother's nurse will be here for more hours, so I will head to the library and attempt writing book number two! Am also thinking about writing a paper for the Families in Global Transition conference that is held in Washington DC next March....and then an article on "Women's Ministry"...
In someways, I need to approach this move into mom's assissted living as another relocation...so different emotionally, but a relocation non the less.
No 1 Healthy eating
I am telling mom how much I appreciate all the food,restaurants etc but I am going to take care in what I eat. Simple? Just have a southern mother and see how YOU do!
No 2 Exercise
This priority may be on my prayer list more than in reality, but I AM going to try to walk a half hour a day! There is a good walking path nearby. If you have read my book, "Parent's on the Move!" you will know that one of the things I try to do when I change location is find a "walk" and a walking partner.
No 3 Quiet Time
Maybe not a set time at the moment, but if I have my Bible handy I can take the moments that come, and practice the Brother Lawrence style of praying while "in the kitchen."
No 4 Writing
Next week my mother's nurse will be here for more hours, so I will head to the library and attempt writing book number two! Am also thinking about writing a paper for the Families in Global Transition conference that is held in Washington DC next March....and then an article on "Women's Ministry"...
In someways, I need to approach this move into mom's assissted living as another relocation...so different emotionally, but a relocation non the less.
Wednesday, 9 June 2010
Priorities No 1
Jo Parfitt in her recent twitter asked, "what keeps you from writing?" I answered, "priorities!" In the first days of the news that my mother was dying, all I could think about was, "Mom, what do you want? What can I do for you?" As I said in the last blog entry, it was twenty-four-seven, this caregiving.
Brain tumours are strange things. Mom is physically fairly fit, very fit for an 89 year old. Though she is losing her ability to think clearly and get some words to the surface of her thoughts and speech, she does make her wishes known. One of them is to see her friends, everyone who stops by, and answer every telephone call. People are flying into see her, and calls are coming in at all hours from all over the world.
Her second priority seems to be to feed us like hmmm, well, there is no tomorrow! She wants us to take her to restaurants, and at first I thought this was for her to enjoy eating a variety of foods and have meals with her family. She likes to be with the family alright-but she doesn't eat a thing! I have wanted to cook for her and prepare special meals;but no,she wants to go to the Texas Steak House! She wanted the visiting- from- England -grandkids to enjoy Outback! My sister and I are now looking at each other with expressions such as, "We can't keep this up. We will be the size of a house!" She wants diets out the window (not for her, but for us!)Doing the dishes is OUT....cooking is OUT. Ironing is OUT. Going to church with her is IN....but those meals are not what we would call healthy either!
I am so glad my husband is here now. He is an amazing help but he looked in the fridge and said, "so much food but nothing to eat!" Mom has stocked the fridge with every treat in town, (but still wants to visit every restuarant in town). I know her heart is to see her kids, and grandkids and sons in laws enjoy life and have the laughter and conversation around her....but this caregiver is sneaking in some fruit and yoghurt!
Brain tumours are strange things. Mom is physically fairly fit, very fit for an 89 year old. Though she is losing her ability to think clearly and get some words to the surface of her thoughts and speech, she does make her wishes known. One of them is to see her friends, everyone who stops by, and answer every telephone call. People are flying into see her, and calls are coming in at all hours from all over the world.
Her second priority seems to be to feed us like hmmm, well, there is no tomorrow! She wants us to take her to restaurants, and at first I thought this was for her to enjoy eating a variety of foods and have meals with her family. She likes to be with the family alright-but she doesn't eat a thing! I have wanted to cook for her and prepare special meals;but no,she wants to go to the Texas Steak House! She wanted the visiting- from- England -grandkids to enjoy Outback! My sister and I are now looking at each other with expressions such as, "We can't keep this up. We will be the size of a house!" She wants diets out the window (not for her, but for us!)Doing the dishes is OUT....cooking is OUT. Ironing is OUT. Going to church with her is IN....but those meals are not what we would call healthy either!
I am so glad my husband is here now. He is an amazing help but he looked in the fridge and said, "so much food but nothing to eat!" Mom has stocked the fridge with every treat in town, (but still wants to visit every restuarant in town). I know her heart is to see her kids, and grandkids and sons in laws enjoy life and have the laughter and conversation around her....but this caregiver is sneaking in some fruit and yoghurt!
Saturday, 5 June 2010
Caregiver
This is one of the most challenging things I have ever done-taking care of my mother in the last stages of a terminal illness. My husband and I were planning to be in Florida for several months when my mother called to say that she had an inoperable brain tumour and would I please travel up to North Carolina to visit her? Of course!
When I arrived, the lovely family doctor came to visit us and sat on the porch for a chat and a time of prayer. This is the Bible belt of America, and very much a culture of its own. This is the south, and so my sister and I sat on the porch with Dr B and held hands with mom and prayed. Then Dr B turned to my mother and lovingly looked right into her eyes.
"Libby," she said, "you taught these girls, and their brother, how to live. Now...you are going to teach them how to die. To die with dignity, in peace and with your loved ones around you. I will make sure you are in no pain, but for the emotional side of this life on earth, you will teach them God's way of passing on."
It was only later that we could make jokes and remind ourselves that no one says "dying" here...people just "pass."
At the moment each moment is precious and while we have everything anyone could need at this beautiful "independent/assisted/ nursing care" living space for the elderly that I now call "Assisted Camping" due to all the extended family BBQ's we have at the back of mom's cottage...these are moments of personal care for a mother saying good-bye to her family. It's the late nights, the midnight "runs" to the loo, notes back to England saying I won't be "home" this summer and then early morning assistance that mom needs. It's twenty-four seven, as they say in America.
When I arrived, the lovely family doctor came to visit us and sat on the porch for a chat and a time of prayer. This is the Bible belt of America, and very much a culture of its own. This is the south, and so my sister and I sat on the porch with Dr B and held hands with mom and prayed. Then Dr B turned to my mother and lovingly looked right into her eyes.
"Libby," she said, "you taught these girls, and their brother, how to live. Now...you are going to teach them how to die. To die with dignity, in peace and with your loved ones around you. I will make sure you are in no pain, but for the emotional side of this life on earth, you will teach them God's way of passing on."
It was only later that we could make jokes and remind ourselves that no one says "dying" here...people just "pass."
At the moment each moment is precious and while we have everything anyone could need at this beautiful "independent/assisted/ nursing care" living space for the elderly that I now call "Assisted Camping" due to all the extended family BBQ's we have at the back of mom's cottage...these are moments of personal care for a mother saying good-bye to her family. It's the late nights, the midnight "runs" to the loo, notes back to England saying I won't be "home" this summer and then early morning assistance that mom needs. It's twenty-four seven, as they say in America.
Sunday, 23 May 2010
Pentecost Sunday
My mother received a call at 6:50 am this morning. My first thought was, "who would call at such an hour?" as I staggered to get the phone for her. While she was talking, I put the coffee on. Soon I heard words from my mother, "oh that's terrible. I am so sorry." At first I thought it was another elderly person calling saying that someone was ill or had died.
Then I heard her say, "and you say the scriptures will be read in Yoruba? And you have to miss that?"
When mom got off the phone, she said, "my friend has to work at the hospital this morning and can't go to church. And they will be reading the scriptures in her own language in honour of Pentecost Sunday. It is so sad she has to miss it."
I am moved by the fact that my mother would love a phone call at this hour from someone a very long way from home, from someone who just wanted to go to church to hear the scripture read in her own language, but cannot go...and that this woman knew my mother would be available for a "mom moment of comfort."
I give thanks for all those that have mothered me in the past when I was a long way from these southern states of America and needed a mom-moment. What a world we live in and how special it is when those that have lived and are living this global nomadic life are there for each other.
"Gotta go..." mom is on the phone calling First Baptist Church Washington,DC giving her Pentecost greetings. When she lived there she started the Pentecost Sunday serivce. She's telling them to remember to get the flags of the nations out!"
Then I heard her say, "and you say the scriptures will be read in Yoruba? And you have to miss that?"
When mom got off the phone, she said, "my friend has to work at the hospital this morning and can't go to church. And they will be reading the scriptures in her own language in honour of Pentecost Sunday. It is so sad she has to miss it."
I am moved by the fact that my mother would love a phone call at this hour from someone a very long way from home, from someone who just wanted to go to church to hear the scripture read in her own language, but cannot go...and that this woman knew my mother would be available for a "mom moment of comfort."
I give thanks for all those that have mothered me in the past when I was a long way from these southern states of America and needed a mom-moment. What a world we live in and how special it is when those that have lived and are living this global nomadic life are there for each other.
"Gotta go..." mom is on the phone calling First Baptist Church Washington,DC giving her Pentecost greetings. When she lived there she started the Pentecost Sunday serivce. She's telling them to remember to get the flags of the nations out!"
Saturday, 22 May 2010
Girls Weekend
My sister and I decided we would have a girls weekend to celebrate our mother and take time to tell her how much we love her. Friday night I cooked a special dinner, lit the candles and loaded up her favourite music. We did the memory lane a little and then retired to the porch for apple pie and ice cream...then stayed up and talked until one am like college girls! Knowing she has brain cancer, mom seems to want to leave no stone unturned when it comes to saying what she wants/needs to say.
This morning my sister brought in homemade pumpkin muffins accompanied by hazelnut coffee. A very good way to start the day, complete with sunshine and carolina pines in view. Then we were off to a nearby shop. Mom purchased a beautiful formal gown and very happy with that purchase she really got into the shopping...and we loved the Sister's (that's the name!)dress shop here in Lumberton. Beautiful lamps, mirrors, splendid dressing rooms make this a wonderful shopping experience. I tucked behind a dressing room door for a tear or two, briefly thinking that this could very well be our last shopping trip together, but took a firm grip of my very non-helpful to the shopping experience emotions. There is no point in thinking like this! With a smile firmly back on my face at the joy of how beautiful mom looked in that new dress, we headed home. Mom is resting before we head out to her favourite oyster restaurant this evening. What a special time! We are cherishing every moment.
This morning my sister brought in homemade pumpkin muffins accompanied by hazelnut coffee. A very good way to start the day, complete with sunshine and carolina pines in view. Then we were off to a nearby shop. Mom purchased a beautiful formal gown and very happy with that purchase she really got into the shopping...and we loved the Sister's (that's the name!)dress shop here in Lumberton. Beautiful lamps, mirrors, splendid dressing rooms make this a wonderful shopping experience. I tucked behind a dressing room door for a tear or two, briefly thinking that this could very well be our last shopping trip together, but took a firm grip of my very non-helpful to the shopping experience emotions. There is no point in thinking like this! With a smile firmly back on my face at the joy of how beautiful mom looked in that new dress, we headed home. Mom is resting before we head out to her favourite oyster restaurant this evening. What a special time! We are cherishing every moment.
Thursday, 20 May 2010
Going Home
I haven't written in a very long time, due my doing a partical re-entry to my country (but not state of origin), and my mother not being well. My husband and I were due to be in Florida for three months. He was happily adjusting to being an Englishman in the Sunshine State and I was thoroughly enjoying sunshine after an English grey winter. Then the call came. "Your mother is seriously ill, " I was told; and we discussed heading up to a small town in North Carolina where she resides in "assisted living." North Carolina is deep-south for those of you who wonder about the "North" in North Carolina. After a long walk and talk on the beach I decided I would go alone to spend a little time with my mother. You just about need another passport to head to my mother's home, and I didn't want to do a bi-cultural trip when my mother needed undiluted southern ways. I needed to not be a cultural translator for once. I will teach this old style southern way of dying to my half-English/half-American children as it is part of their heritage. I give thanks to my supportive husband as I figure out how to do this next stage of life in the global mix of international living.In this blog I look to process all that is happening as my mother prepares as only a southern lady could for her final transition...her amazing "going home" to see the king of kings. No passport required.
Saturday, 10 April 2010
Accountability
Years ago, when I was on a business trip to New York City as an HR consultant for one of the banks, I attended what I still call a Sunday School class (the rest of the world has moved on with new and various titles but I am nostolgic at times). It was just after nine-eleven and the topic of this class was money. What were people supposed to do? Jobs had been lost in a heartbeat and these class members were sitting in a room at Redeemer Presbyterian Church in Manhattan talking about Jesus.
I thought I was only attending the class because it was Sunday and that is what I do on Sundays, go to church. I am humbled to even think God had plans for me that morning, but what happened in that class blew me away. Sitting on not terribly comforable seats, we leaned forward as a man at a chalk board pulled us out of ourselves and got us to think about how Jesus could be in this violent and financial mess. Not the "how" of metaphysical how, but in reality, what was He doing here? How was He connecting New Yorkers to Himself and how was He getting His people to share the burdens of the time?
Then a word came up and impacted my life. The word came from the man at the front of the room and that word he spoke so clearly was "accountability," but what blew me away was what happened next. Here in an urban environment, where trust had been rocked to ground zero the members of this class were talking about openly sharing their financial situations with each other. One man spoke of how me met with his "accountability partner" at lunch and they opened their checkbooks to each other with the goal of working to support their families with Christ like standards.What? In New York share your checkbook stubs?
Yesterday, and this is now 2010, I had the priveledge of meeting with someone from Redeemer to talk about accountability for writers. The result of that meeting is that I've been asked to write a proposal for a writers conference to be held here in New York City. Working title: Urban Christian Writers Conference. Purpose: to be blown away by God's role for writers. Writers accountable to Him by challenging each other to be all He meant us to be.Let's pray!
I thought I was only attending the class because it was Sunday and that is what I do on Sundays, go to church. I am humbled to even think God had plans for me that morning, but what happened in that class blew me away. Sitting on not terribly comforable seats, we leaned forward as a man at a chalk board pulled us out of ourselves and got us to think about how Jesus could be in this violent and financial mess. Not the "how" of metaphysical how, but in reality, what was He doing here? How was He connecting New Yorkers to Himself and how was He getting His people to share the burdens of the time?
Then a word came up and impacted my life. The word came from the man at the front of the room and that word he spoke so clearly was "accountability," but what blew me away was what happened next. Here in an urban environment, where trust had been rocked to ground zero the members of this class were talking about openly sharing their financial situations with each other. One man spoke of how me met with his "accountability partner" at lunch and they opened their checkbooks to each other with the goal of working to support their families with Christ like standards.What? In New York share your checkbook stubs?
Yesterday, and this is now 2010, I had the priveledge of meeting with someone from Redeemer to talk about accountability for writers. The result of that meeting is that I've been asked to write a proposal for a writers conference to be held here in New York City. Working title: Urban Christian Writers Conference. Purpose: to be blown away by God's role for writers. Writers accountable to Him by challenging each other to be all He meant us to be.Let's pray!
Sunday, 4 April 2010
Because of the Cross
Philippeans 2:3
To me, good manners are esential for telling/showing someone they are important. It's a way we show 'preference' in that we show/let someone know that they are importnt to us, maybe even more important than our own wants and desires.
To some, I live in the land of good manners- England. I agree that English writers have produced a number of good books on the subject and many of the Queen's subjects display great qualities of consideration for others, but the English version of manners is only one version of the etiquette we have agreed to call "manners."
Each culture has a group of behaviours and words considered to be "best manners." Best manners are often about protocol, and I prefer to think more in terms of "simple manners." It's not complicated to say "sorry, love." when we have hurt someone with words or behviours even if we have no idea what we have done. It isn't pretentious to apologize and save sorting out the resons behind a hurt for a later date.
It is pride that keeps us from acknowledging our humanness and our willingnes to "prefer one another." Pride keeps a wife from apologising for dinner not happening, a nation from the starting point of reconciliation with another nation, and me laying my whole life at the foot of the coss.
On this Holy Weekend I want to say sorry to God in the name of Jesus...not a light or polite or flipant "sorry" but a more deeply felt "sorry" that my countries where I have a passport, where I live and play are not raising the name of Jesus above all other names. May nation upon nation prefer you.
To me, good manners are esential for telling/showing someone they are important. It's a way we show 'preference' in that we show/let someone know that they are importnt to us, maybe even more important than our own wants and desires.
To some, I live in the land of good manners- England. I agree that English writers have produced a number of good books on the subject and many of the Queen's subjects display great qualities of consideration for others, but the English version of manners is only one version of the etiquette we have agreed to call "manners."
Each culture has a group of behaviours and words considered to be "best manners." Best manners are often about protocol, and I prefer to think more in terms of "simple manners." It's not complicated to say "sorry, love." when we have hurt someone with words or behviours even if we have no idea what we have done. It isn't pretentious to apologize and save sorting out the resons behind a hurt for a later date.
It is pride that keeps us from acknowledging our humanness and our willingnes to "prefer one another." Pride keeps a wife from apologising for dinner not happening, a nation from the starting point of reconciliation with another nation, and me laying my whole life at the foot of the coss.
On this Holy Weekend I want to say sorry to God in the name of Jesus...not a light or polite or flipant "sorry" but a more deeply felt "sorry" that my countries where I have a passport, where I live and play are not raising the name of Jesus above all other names. May nation upon nation prefer you.
Thursday, 1 April 2010
Baptism
Just a quick note to say that we are away this week at a family baptism in Italy. The following week we head to New York City and then down to Tampa where I look forward to catching up with a spot of blog writing!
In the meantime, let me say I think I found my new favourite airplane: Air Dolomiti. In addition to the interior of the plane being my favourite colour, you start with the flight attendants handing you a warm face cloth (real cloth, not paper) and then lovely snacks on a short flight. My six foot husband was actually comfortable in his seat and pleased to not have to pay extra for carrying large bags with grand-baby items.Smiles alround with cabin crew;and above all a good safe flight....not for the faint hearted, landing in Ancona as you slip over oil tankers. Oh, and it was cheaper than Ryan Air.
A blessed Resurrection Sunday to all...with Passover and Good Friday it is Holy Week, indeed.
In the meantime, let me say I think I found my new favourite airplane: Air Dolomiti. In addition to the interior of the plane being my favourite colour, you start with the flight attendants handing you a warm face cloth (real cloth, not paper) and then lovely snacks on a short flight. My six foot husband was actually comfortable in his seat and pleased to not have to pay extra for carrying large bags with grand-baby items.Smiles alround with cabin crew;and above all a good safe flight....not for the faint hearted, landing in Ancona as you slip over oil tankers. Oh, and it was cheaper than Ryan Air.
A blessed Resurrection Sunday to all...with Passover and Good Friday it is Holy Week, indeed.
Monday, 22 March 2010
Women's Ministry Farnham, England
Many, many years ago Maryele went to Uruguay from England with her husband. As a bride,non-working and simply accompanying her spouse, she had nothing to do. Bored, she sat at the yacht club and read a book that had been given to her as a good-bye present. Now, a life-time later and giving her testimony back in a small town in England, she unwrapped an out of print and worn out book entitled, "The Great Adventure," which told of the great adventure life could be with Christ. "This was the book," she said.
Maryele said she thought she was a Christian until she read the book she held before us. "When I read this," she said, she made a decision to REALLY give her life to Jesus-and the adventure began! She started Bible studies in her Uruguayan home, and was able to be a support to newly arriving missionaries. But her Bible study work was short lived. Her non-Christian husband complained and she had to ask her home group to leave. This group was run by a local missionary, and worried as she was that they might have difficulty in finding a new place to meet it turned out to be the best thing for the group. That Bible study grew into a ministry in over nine new locations!
The reason I am telling you all this is that last Wednesday the Farnham Baptist Women's group that I enjoy here in England, sat mesermised by Maryele's tales of her life and travels. This was life in Latin America well over fify years ago! She spoke of the patience God gave her and that her husband finally became a Christian when he was 90 years old. For seven years they conducted Bible studies together.
Maryele knows the importance of an inspiring book. For the past twenty - or more- years she has sent books to people in a number of countries.Maryele is always recommending books to people. Recently she got us to donate books to a women's prison in Malaysia. Destiny Image Publishers talk about "changing the world, one book at a time." Maryele is living proof.
Maryele said she thought she was a Christian until she read the book she held before us. "When I read this," she said, she made a decision to REALLY give her life to Jesus-and the adventure began! She started Bible studies in her Uruguayan home, and was able to be a support to newly arriving missionaries. But her Bible study work was short lived. Her non-Christian husband complained and she had to ask her home group to leave. This group was run by a local missionary, and worried as she was that they might have difficulty in finding a new place to meet it turned out to be the best thing for the group. That Bible study grew into a ministry in over nine new locations!
The reason I am telling you all this is that last Wednesday the Farnham Baptist Women's group that I enjoy here in England, sat mesermised by Maryele's tales of her life and travels. This was life in Latin America well over fify years ago! She spoke of the patience God gave her and that her husband finally became a Christian when he was 90 years old. For seven years they conducted Bible studies together.
Maryele knows the importance of an inspiring book. For the past twenty - or more- years she has sent books to people in a number of countries.Maryele is always recommending books to people. Recently she got us to donate books to a women's prison in Malaysia. Destiny Image Publishers talk about "changing the world, one book at a time." Maryele is living proof.
Friday, 12 March 2010
Families in Global Transition Conference
We gathered from all over the world to share our experiences of living in countries that do not match our passports. We were corporate, military, NGO's, missionaries, diplomatic service and support spouses. The moment we walked into the Houston hotel we were with "our tribe!"
Kim did a great job in organising this weekend conference that featured guest speakers, breakfast round tables, research findings and workshops...and a creative dance or two with media. We were young tck's (third culture kids) and "older." Some of us had done "re-entry" and some of us have never known when to to go home...some of us have never had such a place in the first place but we all love family life and adventures in global nomadic life. Whew, it was good to be home- for the weekend!
I launched my "baby"...the book "Parents in Global Transition!" and was so encouraged to meet with other "new moms/mums" as they brought their "first born home" for the parents (multi-published authors in this cross cultural field) to see and, hopefully, review. Jo Parfitt gave several wonderfully encouraging workshops for writers finding their voice in a group of fluctuating accents. We didn't have to be any nationality to put pen to paper, just a story and a willingness to share that story. I have signed up for further writing workshops with Jo and have asked that she please start a writers "toddler group" for all of us first book authors.
I know as I reflect on this conference I will be writing more about Families in Global Transition; but for now, let me say that I have uploaded a photo of the first person who bought my book. The buyer was a young American who works at an international school in China. He bought one for himself and one for his headmaster. I give thanks, and pray that he is blessed by what he reads in "Parents on the Move."
Kim did a great job in organising this weekend conference that featured guest speakers, breakfast round tables, research findings and workshops...and a creative dance or two with media. We were young tck's (third culture kids) and "older." Some of us had done "re-entry" and some of us have never known when to to go home...some of us have never had such a place in the first place but we all love family life and adventures in global nomadic life. Whew, it was good to be home- for the weekend!
I launched my "baby"...the book "Parents in Global Transition!" and was so encouraged to meet with other "new moms/mums" as they brought their "first born home" for the parents (multi-published authors in this cross cultural field) to see and, hopefully, review. Jo Parfitt gave several wonderfully encouraging workshops for writers finding their voice in a group of fluctuating accents. We didn't have to be any nationality to put pen to paper, just a story and a willingness to share that story. I have signed up for further writing workshops with Jo and have asked that she please start a writers "toddler group" for all of us first book authors.
I know as I reflect on this conference I will be writing more about Families in Global Transition; but for now, let me say that I have uploaded a photo of the first person who bought my book. The buyer was a young American who works at an international school in China. He bought one for himself and one for his headmaster. I give thanks, and pray that he is blessed by what he reads in "Parents on the Move."
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