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Contact Kathleen@parentsonthemove.com




Tuesday 31 May 2011

Relocation Support Team List

So, you are developing your personal support team for your overseas relocation. Even if you are not a list-person, it's time to make at least one list in your life to note the members of your personal team as you change countries. Especially if you are a single parent, you need this team. Single parents cannot throw their hands up in the air declaring that life is all too much to handle while trying to get to grips with a new job and say, "I'm leaving all that family stuff to the wife!"

As mentioned, your number one support is your faith in Father God and all He will do, as this relocation is NO surprise to Him. Joining this Number One on your list is someone who might be a prayer partner especially for your relocation research trip, as well as the period of transition from one country to another. This prayer partner understands that you need someone to whom you can give your prayer concerns (let them have the list!), keep these concerns confidential and at the same time remember that you are on the move and need an Aaron and a Hur (OK, some of us need two prayer partners!).

Number Two on your list is a Health Advisor. This is someone who will get you the telephone numbers of health providers in your new location. You do not want to have your child wake up in the middle of the night with pain (usualy ears) or quite ill from some strange-to-them food they ate and not know whom to call/ring. Who answers YOUR phone at three in the morning?

Number Three on my personal support team list is knowing where I can find a small Bible study group in my new location. This is the group of people who will remind me time and time again that no matter where in the world I go, Father God goes with me. It may take awhile to find such a group in your new location, and often you will wait to find this group when you have found a new church. Still, the sooner I can plug into Women's Ministry, the sooner I have access to other women of faith who know their way around the community, and that is an amazing assistance for mothers! Single working mothers may find this in their place of work (though that is more in London for lunch and New York City for after work).

Number Four on the list is an education advisor, and this does not necessarily mean a highly paid education consultant, but someone you can discuss personal child related school issues in the early days of relocation. This person can give you invaluable advise on assisting your child make the transition from one academic culture to another. Getting those first days of school right can make all the difference to a successful relocation for you and your child/children. It is a good idea to choose someone (for your personal education support) that will not just commiserate about how another country does things in the classroom, but can either explain details to you or assist you with developing a successful strategy for working with your child's new teacher.
Tomorrow I will look at the next three people on your Relocation Support Team..there are ten in all to assist you with a successful relocation indeed!

Monday 30 May 2011

Relocation Support Team

You may have heard the term, "Trailing Spouse," but I have to admit it is a term I cannot stand. To me, this would be the person in any relocation who trails behind, picking up the pieces when a relocation doesn't work. Yet, I met someone in Paris several years ago who loves the term. "That's me," she said, "I just move in the slip stream!"
I much prefer the acolade, "support spouse," meaning the person who makes the assignment successful for the entire family. If you are a single parent you can get caught up in being your own support team, and that just leads to exhaustion. Married or single, to insure the peace and even rest I talked about in last week's "Relocation Advisory" blog, you need to establish a personal support team (PST).
This support team has the sole purpose of assisting you in finding a new community in which you and your child/children thrive, new school/s, place to live, new church or whatever else you need. Need?

One of the most stressful aspects of any relocation is in actually knowing what you will need in a land you do not know.

As you start to build your PST for this relocation, remember that your Father God knew before you were born that you were going to make this move. Do you think for one minute that He will not be in the details? Take time to ask Him to reveal your needs for this move. "Not just what I think I need, but what You, Father God, KNOW I need," is a worthwhile prayer.

Ask Him also to help you speak truth in love to those around you. Too many people are quick to tell you what they think you will need as you relocate, so resolve to have that daily quiet time, listening to the Father's confirmation in your mind and heart for a needs vs wants list. Great is His faithfulness.

Ask Him what nurtures your spirit,(from the Holy Spirit), then nurtures your soul, and then your body. As you look to establish your support team, remember that you want the Holy Spirit to lead your spirit in your decision making, not your soul leading, not your body.Unless your spirit is nurtured as you establish this support team list, you waste a lot of time trying to feed your soul. When you are preparing for a relocation research trip, one thing you don't usually have is time to waste. A practical, "how-to" book for spirit nurturing (I would recommend for any long haul flight) is Dr Gary Chapman's, "God Speaks Your Love Language." For reading that will strenghten your resolve in establishing a godly PST, I keep Joyce Meyer's classic "Battlefield of the Mind," on my kindle. You are not going on vacation. You are taking new ground for the work He has given you.

If you are going to have the Biblical peace which passes understanding, and you long for the leading that at least knows where the still waters reside, then you need His support for the road. Tomorrow, I will talk about the next steps in rounding up your personal support team that enables success in any relocation.

Philippians 4:7 And the peace of God, which transends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

Wednesday 25 May 2011

Research Trip Advisory

"The second key to a successful research trip is an attitude of gratitude".
We need to have a 'different spirit' than the rest of the masses travelling these days!
This different spirit ( Numbers 14:24) is one that actively looks out for what the Lord is going to do for us as we move to where ever the Lord has called us to live. "This is why it is so important in our relocation strategy that our first step mentioned in Chapter 1 ("Parents on the Move!" published by Destiny Image Europe)is to know that He both told us to go and He promises He will go with us."
If you are travelling with teenagers or older children, have them get in the game. Tell them to keep notes, and challenge each other to "see things" that they just knowis a blessing from God, either for the research trip or as a hope for the move itself. For example, just meeting someone at the potential school that not only welcomes your family, but takes a special interest in your child's interests and lets them know the connections they can make in your new community. That's a blessing that opens doors!
Moses did not want to even think about relocating without God. "If your presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here." (Exodus 33:15)Thankfully the Lord agreed, saying "My presence will go with you and I will give you rest." (Exodus 33:14)
Rest? Are you kidding? Well, my husband and I are off travelling for a few days, but when we come back, I will look at just the support team to enable that rest that seems to elude most parents on the move. To be that well prepared parent for any research trip, do take time to order my book, "Parents on the Move!" from Amazon or the CLC website. May blessings abound in all yuor travels.

Saturday 21 May 2011

Relocation Research- Driving Around the New Location

So, you have your list of six schools to visit (see "Parents on the Move!," chapter Three, Destiny Image Europe Publishers, you can order from Amazon or Christianbooks.com) and are setting up appointments to visit your schools. Write out a schedule for no more than three school visits a day. In my book, I provide you a sample "School Visiting Schedule," which you can photo copy and keep with you throughout your one week research trip.
Do make sure you have telephoned the schools before boarding the plane, to confirm your appointments and have a named person to meet at each school. You will have, of course, checked out school websites and any possible facebook info. Do not rely on this sort of social media as gospel for what actually happens at a school, but do use it to formulate your questions when on the school tour.
Secondly, I strongly recommend you splash out for a car driver. This may sound extravagant, but bear with me.This is no time to be late for school visits simply because you do not know your way around upper Manhattan or Fairfield County. Principals/Headmistresses have cleared a space for you on their time table and it is seriously not a good idea to be late in most school cultures. Having a driver can free you up to call ahead to the school (again, confirming that you are actually on the way) and to discuss education issues with someone on your support team (next week in this blog) while en route. Save learning your way around your new town for another time.When you are on your school visiting schedule, you are down to business! Should you wish to "see the location," the driver knows just where to look for Main Street/High Street, leafy neighbourhoods,shops, et al.
While I do not get a commission from any driver, I have suggestions for London (do email me)and New York (area) and have found Boston Coach to be reliable over the years in the later. Make sure, when booking the driver that he or she is happy to discuss neighbourhoods with you, and best school driving routes at eight am in the morning- they have some very helpful insights!

Friday 20 May 2011

Research Trip for Relocation

We are about to welcome the young couple who will be staying in our home while we head to the states for six months, as it's that time of year again when we switch countries. I was thinking how easy this transition is now, compared to earlier days. How lovely it is to just pick up the phone and have a friend meet us at the Tampa airport. We catch up on local news (who gossips?!) while driving across the Skyline Bridge and I am eager to once again get my toes into the Gulf of Mexico.
But it hasn't always been such a smooth transition. When you change countries with children, your focus is more on "How will they settle into the new school?" What do we do if the baby gets an earache on the flight? What if my teenager finds the transition a real pain?"
This is where a research trip several months ahead of the actual relocation is envaluable. Over the next several days I am going to write about what makes a successful research trip, especially when you are doing this as a single mother. The reason I am focusing on single mothers is that even when you are married, most overseas assignments are still male (see link for stats)and often the mum/mom does the research on her own.As one vetran of multiple corporate moves said to me, "When it comes to the research trip, I always feel like a single mother. OK, a single mother with a great paycheck." With corporate relocation packages not being at their best these days, I will focus on a more "doing it yourself" budget variety. Though I continue to write mostly about relocation between the UK and USA, it is my hope that the principles will aplly to other regions of the world....I always have my parents relocation to South Korea in mind!(And believe me, there was no beforehand trip.) Enjoy the prep. It's part of the journey....now, today I am back to shoving things in the attic!